


Conner Kent's Guide To Being In Love With Your Best Friends

by BlackandBlueMadness26



Category: DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artemis got Kon in the divorce, Bart is a savage, Bartim is a very chaotic duo, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I'm gonna mix everything, Kon is a disaster, M/M, Oh almost forgot, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Textfic, Texting, Tim is a confident bi most of the time, Wally and Artemis are basically raising Kon, actually all three of them are disasters, and Kon can barely keep up with them, angst? maybe, but Kon is probably the worst one, but Walls is still a supportive dad, but very chaotic, cause I have no clue which timeline I'm following, everyone thinks he's straight tho, i should probably say AU, pan! Conner Kent, this is a textfic lmao, which is making him desperate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 20,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29443020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackandBlueMadness26/pseuds/BlackandBlueMadness26
Summary: Conner has three problems:1) he's in love with his best friends2) they both think he's straight3) he's pretty sure they have feelings for each other
Relationships: (to be added, Artemis Crock/Zatanna Zatara, Bart Allen/Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, others (maybe)
Comments: 150
Kudos: 111





	1. Superboy's 24/7 Daycare

**Author's Note:**

> HI!  
> I'm so happy and excited to be sharing this new project with you!  
> so as some of you might know, I've put a poll on my last fic to help me decide what I was gonna right next, and Bartimkon was very far ahead, so I decided to start writing yesterday evening, and I haven't been able to stop since! I missed writing textfics man!  
> Anyway I hope you enjoy, I might post another chapter later, I have several ready already!
> 
> oh also, I'll start working on my fake reality fic soon! I'll probably have the first chapter ready in a couple of days!  
> right here you go, enjoy! xxx

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

So

**Connie <3:**

Oh no

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I haven’t said anything yet

**Connie <3:**

No pleasant conversation has ever started with

The word “so”

Especially not when you’re involved

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I…

Fair enough

**Connie <3:**

Give it to me straight

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I’m not

**Connie <3:**

Neither am I

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

What

**Connie <3:**

What

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

…

**Connie <3:**

What did you want to tell me?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Oh, right.

So you know how I went out with Tim

Cause he wanted to celebrate the death of his will to live?

**Connie <3:**

I do vaguely remember seeing something

Similar on the group chat in passing.

I also remember telling you I wanted no part of it.

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Yeah but I chose to ignore you.

**Connie <3:**

Clearly

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Look, I didn’t want it to come to this either

But he’s drunk out of his mind and refuses to go home

**Connie <3:**

I thought you were supposed to

Prevent that from happening

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

You think I have the power to keep

A Robin from making bad decisions?

**Connie <3:**

If you can’t, no one can

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Sounds about right.

Anyway I’ve tried everything

But he won’t budge

**Connie <3:**

Just pick him up and carry him out

He’s literally so small

He weighs practically nothing

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

First of all not everyone has super strength

Second I’ve tried but he keeps tickling me

You know how sensitive I am

He’s found my only weakness

**Connie <3:**

Sure, that’s the only one

I’m not getting you out of this one

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

But Kooooooon

**Connie <3:**

No

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

:(

**Connie <3:**

Stop

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

:’(

**Connie <3:**

It’s not gonna work

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

:’( please?

**Connie <3:**

Ugh

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Love you

**Connie <3:**

Sure

I’m guessing you’re both crashing at my place?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Of course

You know how clingy Timmy gets when he’s drunk

He’s not gonna let you go once he sees you

**Connie <3:**

Like you’re any better

And you don’t even have the excuse of being drunk

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

You never refuse my affection tho

Who’s really guilty, the monster or the one who’s feeding it?

**Connie <3:**

Good point

Maybe I should stop indulging you

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

But you won’t

**Connie <3:**

Won’t I?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

>:(

**Connie <3:**

Alright I won’t

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

:D

**Connie <3:**

You need to stop with the emoji’s

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

They’re part of my identity

I don’t ask you to stop looking like a frat boy

**Connie <3:**

That was uncalled for

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Don’t come for me and my emoji’s bitch

**Connie <3:**

I miss the old you

The cute one who wouldn’t attack me 24/7

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Aw you just called me cute

**Connie <3:**

No, I said you used to be cute

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Still counts

**Connie <3:**

How did this backfire on me?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

One day you’re just going to realize

That you really can’t win

And it will be freeing for you, you’ll see

**Connie <3:**

If you say so

I’m here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blblbl KON YOU ABSOLUTE CHAOTIC MESS I CANT!  
> the poor boy is whipped. also Bart has no chill, I love him
> 
> next chapter: Kon regrets all his life choices


	2. feelings are hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon vents to Artemis who's a real mvp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi !  
> so here's the second chapter! I lowkey really like this one, Artemis is slowly becoming one of my favorites!  
>  I hope you enjoy! xxx

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Why am I doing this to myself?

**She’s cool I guess:**

The more accurate question is why are you

Doing this to me?

It’s late Conner

I’m tired

Zee’s also tired

Why

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

I’m sorry ok

You’re just the only one I can talk to about this

**She’s cool I guess:**

I know

I’m not actually mad

Just tired

Now tell me what happened

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Tim got Drunk and Bart couldn’t handle him alone

**She’s cool I guess:**

Why didn’t you ask Walls or Dick to handle it?

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

How was I supposed to explain to them why

I didn’t want to do it without telling them

The whole truth?

And how was I supposed to say no to Bart?

**She’s cool I guess:**

You’re so whipped it’s not even fun to tease

You about it

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Thanks I know

I hate my life

**She’s cool I guess:**

You’re getting more overdramatic everyday

You’re gonna have to tell them eventually

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

How about I don’t?

They’re probably gonna end up

Together at this rate anyway

It’s just a matter of time

**She’s cool I guess:**

And how are you going to deal with that?

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Honestly?

Probably not that well

But it’s not like I’ll be blindsided by it

At least so there’s that

**She’s cool I guess:**

Conner

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Artemis

**She’s cool I guess:**

I still think you should tell them

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Yeah cause that would go over well

“Hey guys, so you know how I’m the designated straight _™_

Of our friend group? Yeah turns out the only straight

I am is a straight up liar cause not only am I a disaster pan

I’m also in love with both of you”

**She’s cool I guess:**

I mean I’m not sure about your choice of words

Cause first of all you never told anyone

You were straight

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Yeah but that’s what everyone assumes

**She’s cool I guess:**

Yeah but that’s on everyone else

Not you

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

So you’ve tried to convince me countless times

**She’s cool I guess:**

Because that’s true

Also I don’t know how anyone

can still think you’re straight

You’re not even trying to be subtle

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

I think I could legit marry a dude and

They’d still think I did it for tax purposes

Or something

**She’s cool I guess:**

That’s really sad

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Kinda

**She’s cool I guess:**

Back to the topic

Tell them Kon. Worst case scenario

They don’t feel the same way

You get rejected and y’all move on

It’s not like they’re gonna drop you

As a friend.

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

I mean

Objectively I know that

But my brain can’t seem to grasp the idea

**She’s cool I guess:**

Your brain’s an asshole

Tell it to shut the fuck up.

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

If only

**She’s cool I guess:**

Look I’m not saying it’s easy

That little voice never seems to go away does it

But it’s worth it

I’ve never regretted once to have ignored

The feeling everything was going to crash down around me

When I decided to tell Zatanna how I felt

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Yeah but that’s because you two were like

Made for each other or something

**She’s cool I guess:**

I mean you ain’t wrong

But also think of it like this

How many times have you been kept up

At night for something you’ve done, versus something

You didn’t do?

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

I mean considering I’m literally keeping not only myself

But you up right now cause

I’m having a gay panic

I think the scale is pretty uneven

**She’s cool I guess:**

My point exactly

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

I guess you’re right

Thanks for the advice Arty

**She’s cool I guess:**

You’re not gonna take it are you

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Nope

**She’s cool I guess:**

Figures

You’re welcome anyway

You can always change your mind later

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

Maybe

I’mma let you sleep now

**She’s cool I guess:**

Alright

Remember, whenever you need to vent

I’m there okay?

Take care Kon

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

You too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't with Kon he's such a mess! Artemis has so much patience it's unbelievable   
> I'll post the next chapter in a few hours after I've taken a nap cause honestly I can't wait, I really love the next one!  
> next chapter: Bartim world domination


	3. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bart is confused and lowkey freaking out. Tim is... a menace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!  
> I'm so excited for this chapter!   
> It's one of my favorites I've written so far ( and I've written a lot, like, I literally can't stop)  
> I hope you like it as much as I do! xxx

**Timmy <3:**

You’ve been staring at Kon for the past ten minutes

You’re lucky he’s oblivious af

 **(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Damn I didn’t even notice

I completely zoned out

**Timmy <3:**

I gathered

What’s wrong ?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I just suddenly remembered something

weird about our convo yesterday

**Timmy <3:**

What convo ?

 **(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

That was when you were too

drunk to function

**Timmy <3:**

Oh well

That explains why I have no recollection of it

What did you talk about ?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

It wasn’t really important

Just me asking him to come

help me get you home

But at some point he asked me to 

“Give it to me straight”

And you know me

I can pass up the opportunity for a gay pun

**Timmy <3:**

Neither should you

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Exactly

So I told him I wasn’t

And he answered “neither am I“

**Timmy <3:**

I… beg your pardon?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Yeah I know

I was shook too

But when I tried to ask about it,

He changed the subject

**Timmy <3:**

Maybe he was just joking

And got embarrassed that the joke didn’t land?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Maybe

I mean

He would tell us right?

If he was really queer,

He knows he could tell us?

**Timmy <3:**

I’m sure he does

But let’s not assume anything

I mean, he’s only ever dated girls

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

You also used to date girls exclusively

**Timmy <3:**

I mean…

You got me there

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

And I mean

We’ve always called him our token straight

But has he ever used the term himself?

**Timmy <3:**

I…don’t know?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

This is messing with my brain Tim

I’m about to lose it

**Timmy <3:**

Baby

Breathe

It’s not that big of a deal okay?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Of course it is!

What if we’ve been blind all this time and

We just missed an information this big about our

Best friend?

**Timmy <3:**

Then we’ll call ourselves idiots and move on

Plus there is the possibility that Kon

Isn’t comfortable with it yet

And yesterday was just a slip up

Let’s just take a step back and let things unfold

One way or another yeah?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Yeah…

But… if he is queer

**Timmy <3:**

Nope

Not going there

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Come on!

**Timmy <3:**

No.

I refuse to conjure the thought

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Tim

You’ve been head over heels in love

With him for years

At some point you’re gonna have

To confront the idea.

Plus this could change things

**Timmy <3:**

or not

just because he might be queer doesn’t mean

he’ll automatically like me

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

He’d be stupid not to

**Timmy <3:**

Bart

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Nope

**Timmy <3:**

Now who’s avoiding the subject

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I told you already

I moved on

I knew I ever stood a chance against Kon and I moved on

Stop looking at me like that

Even Kon’s not that oblivious not to notice.

**Timmy <3:**

I don’t like this

Why does everything have to be so complicated?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I don’t know

All I know is that if somehow

Things between you and Kon worked out

I’d be happy for the both of you

**Timmy <3:**

That’s a big if

With our luck he’d end having a crush on you

Probably

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

TIMOTHY

**Timmy <3:**

What?

Oh

Are you blushing?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

…no

**Timmy <3:**

You so are

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

STOP JUDGING ME OK

The idea of Kon having a crush on me is

Making me feel very strange

**Timmy <3:**

…Bart

Do you have a crush on Kon?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

What?

No!

What are you on about!

I don’t just fall in love with all my friends like that!

**Timmy <3:**

I mean, there is a pattern

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Shut up

I don’t have a crush on Kon

**Timmy <3:**

uhuh

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I don’t!

I mean sure, he’s good looking

Like, distractingly so

It makes me nervous sometimes

Okay maybe more than sometimes

Also he does that thing where he tilts his head

When he’s confused and that’s very adorable

And he gives the best hugs

He’s like a giant teddy bear

And he’s always there for me no matter

The time

And he’s so patient and understanding and…

Crap

**Timmy <3:**

Yeah

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I do have a crush on Kon don’t I

**Timmy <3:**

Pretty sure you do

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Why is this my life

**Timmy <3:**

You and me both pal

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **) :**

… this doesn’t change a thing

What I’ve said about you two still stands

**Timmy <3:**

Bartie…

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **) :**

Nope, don’t wanna hear it

**Timmy <3:**

I don’t want you to sacrifice

your happiness for mine

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

But you’re my happiness

Both of you

**Timmy <3:**

Stop flirting

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

You wish I was flirting with you Drake

**Timmy <3:**

I kinda do

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

What

**Timmy <3:**

What

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Oh wow the déjà vu is strong with this one

What did you mean just now?

**Timmy <3:**

Nothing!

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Nothing?

**Timmy <3:**

It’s just…

Maybe you’re not the only one who’s got a thing

For falling for his best friends

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

…you…

**Timmy <3:**

…yeah

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I…

**Timmy <3:**

You moved on, I know

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Fuck you Timothy, you know damn well that was a lie

**Timmy <3:**

It was?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Of course it was!

I… I can’t talk about this right now, not by text

Plus we should probably pay attention to Kon

At some point

**Timmy <3:**

True

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

But we WILL talk about this later

**Timmy <3:**

Sure baby

Whatever you want

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Rjzbsi

Stop doing that

**Timmy <3:**

Doing what?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

You can’t call me baby right now!

**Timmy <3:**

But I always call you baby

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Yeah but usually I can will my brain to not freak out

But right now my brain is too

Busy freaking out about three hundred other things

For me to process this

**Timmy <3:**

Alright I won’t do it anymore 

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Thank you

**Timmy <3:**

You’re welcome baby

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I’m gonna kill you

**Timmy <3:**

Your face , you should have seen it!

You looked like you were having a stroke

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Just for that I’m gonna ignore you

And cuddle with Kon

You’re not invited

**Timmy <3:**

Aw come on

You’re not actually mad are you?

Wait are you ignoring me?

Bart?

Baby?

Alright desperate times

Call for desperate measures

I’m joining this cuddle pile

And no one can stop me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TIMOTHY!  
> HE HAS NO CHILLS  
> poor Bartie he's not equiped to deal with this
> 
> Next Chapter: you know them, you love them, Birdflash is here


	4. married with too many kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Birdflash being everyone's parent and doing their best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!   
> So as promised, Birdflash is here! they have a pretty secondary role in this fic, they're mostly here for moral support, but they're still as cute as they ever were!  
> I hope you enjoy! xxx

**Dickie <3:**

Can you buy doritos on your way back?

**Walls <3:**

Sure honey

**Dickie <3:**

Thanks babe

I’m trying to bribe Bart into

Showing any kind of sign he’s still alive

**Walls <3:**

He still hasn’t moved?

**Dickie <3:**

Nope

He’s been lying on the couch

Staring at the ceiling for two hours

I’m starting to get concerned

**Walls <3:**

You think he’s depressed?

**Dickie <3:**

He doesn’t look like he’s hurting exactly

Just… thinking?

I guess?

**Walls <3:**

Huh

About what

**Dickie <3:**

Wish I knew

**Walls <3:**

Maybe Tim or Kon would know

About it

**Dickie <3:**

Maybe

I’ll ask them as a last resort

I’mma try and engage the conversation

Wish me luck

**Walls <3:**

Good luck

I believe in you

**Dickie <3:**

Thanks love

Huh

**Walls <3:**

What

**Dickie <3:**

Well he’s alive

He just let out the longest sigh

I’ve ever heard

And then he started cuddling me

**Walls <3:**

He’s so cute

That’s a good sign, that means

He’s about to crack

**Dickie <3:**

If he hasn’t suffocated me before

**Walls <3:**

Stay strong, we’re so close

To getting to the bottom of this!

**Dickie <3:**

He’s ready to talk

Except he’s not making any sense

**Walls <3:**

What’s he saying?

**Dickie <3:**

Something about triangles being

An evil shape

**Walls <3:**

Did he watch conspiracy theories

About the illuminati?

**Dickie <3:**

Who knows?

Oh wait

Oh

Oh wow

Oh Lord

**Walls <3:**

What

**Dickie <3:**

Ok so

Don’t panic

But it’s a love situation

**Walls <3:**

….

Who do I have to kill?

**Dickie <3:**

Stop being dramatic

It’s nothing like that

Bart isn’t hurting he’s just confused

**Walls <3:**

Confused about what

**Dickie <3:**

So apparently he’s had feelings for Tim

For years now

**Walls <3:**

Yeah that’s not surprising

**Dickie <3:**

It really isn’t

And Tim also knows

Except Tim’s been in love with Kon since

The dawn of time

**Walls <3:**

Still not surprised

**Dickie <3:**

Yup

But this is where it gets complicated

So Tim knows that Bart likes him

Cause Bart told him some time last year

But he also told him he’d moved on

**Walls <3:**

Oh Bartie

**Dickie <3:**

Yeah

But get this

I don’t know how it happened

But somehow the other day they had

A conversation that led to Bart

Discovering he had a crush on Kon

**Walls <3:**

…wait

You mean Bart now likes Kon instead?

**Dickie <3:**

Not instead

He likes both of them

At least that’s what I’ve gathered

**Walls <3:**

Oh Lord

**Dickie <3:**

My thoughts exactly

But that’s not all

**Walls <3:**

Really?

**Dickie <3:**

Yeah

Turns out Tim also has a crush on Bart

**Walls <3:**

Literally what the fuck

**Dickie <3:**

So basically they’re both into each other

And into Kon

And now Bart doesn’t know

How to deal with these infos

**Walls <3:**

I don’t blame him

But what does Kon think of all of this

**Dickie <3:**

He doesn’t know about any of this

I mean

It’s never easy telling your straight best friend

You have a crush on him

I mean sure it worked out for me

But Kon is another story entirely

**Walls <3:**

… did you just call Kon straight?

**Dickie <3:**

Uh…

Yeah?

**Walls <3:**

… you’re kidding right?

**Dickie <3:**

No?

I mean, Kon is straighter than a ruler

**Walls <3:**

I…

And you dare call yourself a detective

**Dickie <3:**

Eh!

**Walls <3:**

Kon’s not straight

Sure he doesn’t talk about his sexuality

But I thought everyone knew

**Dickie <3:**

You’re taking the piss

**Walls <3:**

Nope

Ask Arty if you don’t believe me

Or better yet ask Kon

He’ll tell you he’s about as straight as I am

**Dickie <3:**

So I’m two for two on the failed gaydar

Got it

**Walls <3:**

You’ll get there eventually

**Dickie <3:**

Putting that aside

You think there’s a chance he might like

Either one of them?

**Walls <3:**

I don’t know

I mean it’s a possibility

**Dickie <3:**

Huh

**Walls <3:**

You want us to snoop don’t you

**Dickie <3:**

I mean

Our babies’ happiness depends on it

**Walls <3:**

When you put it like that

I’ll talk to Kon

**Dickie <3:**

Good idea

**Walls <3:**

We’ll deal with the details later

Right now I just wanna cuddle with you and Bartie

**Dickie <3:**

I like that plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao Dickie's gaydar is busted af  
> it's okay he can't win every time  
> Wally having abrain is a great concept imo
> 
> Next chapter: Wally meddles


	5. Big Brain Wally West

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally being the smartest and the most supportive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!   
> so. I wanted to publish this yesterday, but I wasn't feeling that good so I postponed. I'll try and post another one, maybe two later today since I have a lot already written in advance for this fic  
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Don’t Answer:**

Did you know Dickie thought you were straight?

**Mini Sups:**

And you didn’t?

**Don’t Answer:**

Dude

I’m not stupid

**Mini Sups:**

I would like to respectfully disagree

But it’s nice to know at least one

Of my friends has realized

**Don’t Answer:**

Are you telling me no one knows ?

**Mini Sups:**

Artemis knows

So does Zatanna

And Megan

That’s about it

**Don’t Answer:**

Damn

Where have all the braincells gone?

**Mini Sups:**

no clue

but it feels nice to know that you know

and I guess Dick knows too now

**Don’t Answer:**

Yeah

He’s not handling the fact that he’s got the

Worst gaydar imaginable too well

**Mini Sups:**

I don’t blame him

I mean not getting a read on me I can understand

But you?

How did he miss it for so long?

**Don’t Answer:**

I have no idea

**Mini Sups:**

Why were you talking about my sexuality anyway?

**Don’t Answer:**

Oh, no reason in particular

But while we’re on the subject

Is there anything you’d like to talk about?

**Mini Sups:**

… What do you mean?

**Don’t Answer:**

I don’t know, it’s just

You’ve been single for a very long time

**Mini Sups:**

I guess yeah

**Don’t Answer:**

So I was wondering if there was someone special

**Mini Sups:**

There… might be

**Don’t Answer:**

Oh?

Who is it?

**Mini Sups:**

Um…

**Don’t Answer:**

Is it Tim?

Bart?

**Mini Sups:**

…yes?

**Don’t Answer:**

Yes to which one?

**Mini Sups:**

…

**Don’t Answer:**

It’s both isn’t it

**Mini Sups:**

…how…

**Don’t Answer:**

Let’s just say I’m starting to piece a lot

Of things together

You know it’s okay right?

**Mini Sups:**

Me liking both of my best friends is okay?

**Don’t Answer:**

Well duh

I’m not the most knowledgeable on those things

But I know that polyamory is a thing that exist

**Mini Sups:**

…huh

I have to admit I didn’t think you would be supportive at all

**Don’t Answer:**

I mean if things were to work out one way or another

I will have to threaten your life if your hurt Bartie

Timmy too actually, I love that kid

But other than that I don’t see why I wouldn’t be supportive

I’m your friend

I’ll always try and give you as much support as I can

**Mini Sups:**

I…

Thanks Walls

**Don’t Answer:**

You’re welcome

Wanna talk about it?

**Mini Sups:**

I mean, there’s not much to talk about

I have feelings for them

They don’t even know I’m pan

And I’m pretty sure they’re gonna start dating any time now

Especially after yesterday

**Don’t Answer:**

What happened yesterday?

**Mini Sups:**

They acted so weird

We were all together and they started texting each other

Thinking I didn’t notice

I don’t know what they told each other

But Bart was blushing a lot

And Tim looked very smug

**Don’t Answer:**

Hm

Maybe you should just tell them how you feel

**Mini Sups:**

You sound like Artemis

**Don’t Answer:**

There’s a reason we used to date

**Mini Sups:**

Clearly

I can’t tell them

Especially if they’re about to start dating

That would ruin everything

**Don’t Answer:**

You know what ruins things 100%

Of the time? Lack of communication

**Mini Sups:**

I’ve never been a great communicator

**Don’t Answer:**

Might be time to change that

Don’t you think?

**Mini Sups:**

Perhaps

**Don’t Answer:**

Just start slow

Try and flirt with them

See if they react

**Mini Sups:**

Yeah about that

Flirting?

I’m terrible at it

**Don’t Answer:**

I’ve seen you flirt before

**Mini Sups:**

Not with people I have strong feelings for

I’m a legit disaster

**Don’t Answer:**

Lord help us all

Just try your best alright?

Confidence is key

**Mini Sups:**

Lmao wish I knew what that was

**Don’t Answer:**

How did you survive on your own this long?

**Mini Sups:**

No clue

**Don’t Answer:**

Try it out

It can’t hurt

**Mini Sups:**

Pretty sure it can

**Don’t Answer:**

No it can’t

I’ve flirted badly with all of my friends at least once

Never killed me

**Mini Sups:**

You’ve never flirted with me

**Don’t Answer:**

Are you serious?

**Mini Sups:**

You have?

**Don’t Answer:**

This is why you’re single

**Mini Sups:**

I’m speechless

**Don’t Answer:**

You’re lucky you’re cute

See that was flirting

**Mini Sups:**

That was borderline insulting

**Don’t Answer:**

Doesn’t mean this isn’t also flirting

**Mini Sups:**

What would Dick think?

**Don’t Answer:**

He flirts with Babs and Roy constantly

**Mini Sups:**

Good point

**Don’t Answer:**

Back to the point

Just try it and see how it goes

And if it fails I’ll help you do damage control

**Mini Sups:**

Alright I guess

**Don’t Answer:**

Have faith

It’s all gonna work out in the end

**Mini Sups:**

I hope you’re right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh Lord. Wally giving Kon advice? a disaster waiting to happen.
> 
> Next Chapter: Kon tries Wally's advice


	6. Confidence is Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conner flirts and creates confusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again!  
> This chapter is the beginning of the most chaotic series of events Conner Kent has ever caused  
> I love it  
> I hope you do too xxx

**Group Chat (Powerpuff Girls)**

**Blossom:**

Y’all

You’ll never guess what just happened

**Bubbles:**

Here we go again

**Buttercup:**

What is it this time Tim

**Blossom:**

So I was at Starbucks right

**Bubbles:**

Ew

You basic bitch

**Buttercup:**

I thought you were too busy to go out today

**Bubbles:**

Oooh busted

**Blossom:**

I was busy

But I really needed coffee

And I may have accidentally thrown my coffee

Machine out the window yesterday

**Buttercup:**

Accidentally?

**Bubbles:**

Yeah sounds fake

**Blossom:**

Ok in my defense

It was very late

Or more accurately very early

Which is one and the same since I don’t sleep

And my brain wasn’t functioning and I couldn’t make

The damn thing work

So I got frustrated

**Buttercup:**

So you threw your coffee maker

Out the window?

**Blossom:**

I was having a very rough night

**Bubbles:**

I’ll buy you another one Timmy

Anything as long as it keeps you from going back

To Starbucks

That’s where serial killers find their new victims

I’m pretty sure

**Buttercup:**

Uhuh

**Blossom:**

Thanks baby

Anyway as I was saying

**Buttercup:**

Yes by all means do continue your riveting story

**Blossom:**

Tone down the sass Superboy

Or you’re gonna catch these hands

**Bubbles:**

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

FIGHT

**Buttercup:**

You don’t scare me

It’s not like you can even reach

With how tiny you are

**Bubbles:**

Oh no you didn’t

**Blossom:**

So you’ve chosen death

You, me, in the Walmart parking lot

7PM

**Buttercup:**

Sounds like a date

Wanna grab dinner afterwards?

**Blossom:**

What

**Buttercup:**

What

**Bubbles:**

Not again

Can we get back to the subject please?

**Blossom:**

Uh sure

So as I was saying

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

_Meanwhile in Bartim’s private chat_

**Timmy <3:**

The fuck happened

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

No clue

**Timmy <3:**

You saw that too right

It wasn’t some weird hallucination?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Did I see Kon totally flirting with you?

Yes.

Yes I did

**Timmy <3:**

I…

What should I do?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

For now nothing

If he does it again, well

You’re the master flirt among us

Show him who’s boss

**Timmy <3:**

I like when you encourage me

To create chaos

It’s very attractive

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I know

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

_Conner and Wally’s private chat_

**Mini Sups:**

Why did I listen to you

This was a terrible idea

**Don’t Answer:**

What happened

**Mini Sups:**

Nothing yet

But it’s so weird

I’m so bad at this

**Don’t Answer:**

Remember what I said about confidence?

It’s gonna be okay, just pull through

Come on I’m rooting for you

**Mini Sups:**

Ugh

Fine

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Blossom:**

So I just told her

“Do I look like I know how to take care

Of a child? No bitch you’re not leaving

Your toddler with me, if you do I’m calling CPS”

**Bubbles:**

Some parents

**Blossom:**

I know right?

All I wanted was coffee I don’t know how

Things got to this point

In the end I left without even ordering

**Buttercup:**

That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard

**Blossom:**

It really is

I’m gonna crash and pass out for a week

If I don’t drink any coffee in the next thirty minutes

**Buttercup:**

Good

You need to sleep

**Blossom:**

Sleep is a social construct

So is food

**Bubbles:**

GASP

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

**Buttercup:**

Now you’ve done it

**Blossom:**

I’m sorry ok

It’s just

It’s time consuming

I only have so many hours in a day

I can’t keep wasting them on mundane things

**Bubbles:**

I…

This is worse than I thought

**Buttercup:**

You’ve managed to make Bart worry

I hope you’re proud of yourself

**Bubbles:**

I didn’t say anything about your sleep pattern

But not eating?

Unacceptable.

Maybe you should take Kon up on that offer to grab dinner

**Blossom:**

Kon wasn’t being serious

**Buttercup:**

Uh I totally was

I’ll even pay if it means you’ll actually eat a real meal for once

**Blossom:**

Oh

**Buttercup:**

Matter of fact I’ll pay for the both of you

**Bubbles:**

I’m sorry what?

**Buttercup:**

Yeah

You’re getting on Tim’s case

But don’t think I didn’t notice you weren’t eating

As much as a speedster should the other day

**Bubbles:**

I…

**Blossom:**

Yeah what’s up with that babe?

**Bubbles:**

I just feel embarrassed when I eat enough for three people

When I’m in company

**Buttercup:**

It’s just us though

Tim and I won’t mind

In fact I feel better when I see you eat

To your heart’s content

I like it when you’re full and happy

If you don’t wolf out food when we hang out

I worry about you when you’re gone

**Bubbles:**

Oh…

I… I’m sorry, I didn’t know

**Buttercup:**

Don’t be sorry

Just take better care of yourself

Both of you

And let me treat you tonight.

**Blossom:**

I mean if you insist

**Bubbles:**

I never say no to free food

**Buttercup:**

Good

It’s a date then

**Bubbles:**

I…

**Blossom:**

What

**Buttercup:**

I said what I said

**Blossom:**

Damn Kon

If I didn’t know better I’d think you were flirting

**Buttercup:**

Maybe I am

**Bubbles:**

Is it what it feels like to have a Sugar daddy?

**Buttercup:**

If anything Tim would be the sugar daddy

**Bubbles:**

Good point

**Blossom:**

Well…

**Bubbles:**

Nope.

Don’t even think about it

**Buttercup:**

I fear I have accidentally awakened the beast

**Blossom:**

You can’t suddenly start flirting with us

And expect me not to respond

**Buttercup:**

I guess that’s true

**Bubbles:**

Just you wait

If you think he was a lot to handle until now

Now that you’re giving him attention

You won’t know what hit you

**Buttercup:**

Speaking from experience I presume

**Bubbles:**

He might be the reason I need therapy

**Blossom:**

Don’t act like you don’t like it

**Bubbles:**

Never said I didn’t

**Blossom:**

That’s what I thought

Anyway I’ll see you two later

Don’t think of me too much

While I’m gone

**Bubbles:**

Ew

**Buttercup:**

We’ll try not to

No promises though

**Bubbles:**

Oh lord there’s two of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE THEM I CANT I JUST DJZKNZZ  
> Also I reused the powerpuff girls cause name a more iconic trio I'll wait  
> Next Chapter: clearing things up (and creating even more misunderstanding)


	7. CHAOS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what the title says

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello Hello!  
> so, this one is basically the direct follow up of last chapter. so I guess a part two?  
> it's also where things go to hell lol  
> Hope you enjoy xxx

**Group Chat (Powerpuff Girls)**

**Bubbles:**

So

I didn’t want to be the one bringing it up

But

Maybe we should talk about

The elephant in the room

**Buttercup:**

Which one?

**Blossom:**

I think he means the fact

You’ve flirted with us nonstop all night

And that you may or may not have implied

That you weren’t straight once or twice

**Buttercup:**

I mean I’m not

**Blossom:**

Huh

**Bubbles:**

Well that answers that question

**Buttercup:**

I figured you weren’t gonna figure it out on your own

Maybe I was being too subtle

**Bubbles:**

Or maybe we were being too stupid

**Blossom:**

Yeah, that’s also a possibility

But uh

Thanks for telling us?

**Buttercup:**

You’re welcome?

And don’t be too hard on yourself

You’re not the only ones who didn’t realize

I guess that’s my fault for not

Feeling the need to explicitly say I was pan

Still can’t believe Wally knew and Dick didn’t

But oh well

**Bubbles:**

Wally knew?!

**Blossom:**

Now I feel really bad

**Buttercup:**

It’s really not a big deal

**Bubbles:**

I can’t believe you had to resort to flirting

For us to take a hint

**Buttercup:**

It’s not like I didn’t enjoy doing that

I’m probably not gonna stop either

**Blossom:**

I am all for this new development

Let’s see which one of us manages to make Bart

Spontaneously combust first

**Buttercup:**

You’re on

**Bubbles:**

How did that turn into bully Bart day?

**Buttercup:**

You’re just too easy to fluster

**Blossom:**

And you’re very pretty when you blush

**Buttercup:**

The prettiest

**Bubbles:**

Stooooop

**Blossom:**

I’m already loving this

**Bubbles:**

Why do I have to be the only one to suffer?

**Buttercup:**

I mean it’s only fair

Since you only have to

Smile at someone and they’re

Automatically in love with you

Us mere mortals have to work

For it you know?

**Bubbles:**

I…

Dear God…

**Blossom:**

Not bad Kent

You’re a worthy opponent

**Buttercup:**

Thanks I try my best

**Bubbles:**

You’re gonna be the death of me

Both of you

**Blossom:**

Tragic love stories are often the most beautiful

**Buttercup:**

What he said

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Real talk

You’re totally crushing on Bart aren’t you?

**Dolly:**

Um

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

You can tell me

I won’t mind

**Dolly:**

… Fine

Yes

Yes I am

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Called it

**Dolly:**

Can you maybe uh

Not tell him yet?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Oh of course

Your secret’s safe with me

But between you and me

I think you should tell him

It always pays to be honest

**Dolly:**

He’s not the only one I need to be

Honest with

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Huh?

**Dolly:**

Nothing

I have to go

talk to you later

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Alright…

Take care of yourself Kon

And if you need to talk

I’m there ok?

**Dolly:**

I know

Thanks Timmy

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Do you have feelings for Tim

**Connie <3:**

… yes

Yes I do

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Knew it

You should tell him

**Connie <3:**

I should

But I won’t

Not yet anyway

Can we keep that between us?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Fine

But you’re making a mistake

**Connie <3:**

You have no idea how many mistakes

I’m making

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Huh

Sounds ominous

**Connie <3:**

Wasn’t meant to be

I have to go

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Okay

Don’t forget, if you ever need to talk…

**Connie <3:**

You’ll be there

I know

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Don’t you forget it

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

**She’s cool I guess:**

I’ll be there in 30 minutes

**Less idiotic than the rest of my idiot friends:**

….thanks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hdfofbzofb KON WHAT DID YOU DO  
> Also I love how Arty doesn't even ask questions, she just goes with it . what a friend
> 
> Next chapter: a break up of sorts


	8. it's over before it's even started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim decides to do something drastic, and Bart isn't really the best at dealing with being broken up with

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I wanted to late until later to publish this, but honestly I'm bored, can't sleep because anxiety and I just can't wait to share all the chapters I have in store cause I can't stop writing!  
> so here you go!  
> hope you enjoy xxx

**Timmy <3:**

I’ve been thinking

 **(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

It’s never a good sign

About what?

**Timmy <3:**

Us

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Are you breaking up with me?

Cause I hate to tell you

But you need to actually be

Dating first to do that

**Timmy <3:**

That’s what I was gonna talk to you about

I don’t think we should

Date I mean

 **(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Oh

I uh

Okay?

I mean, I don’t really understand

Where that’s coming from

Wait

Does this have anything to do with Kon?

**Timmy <3:**

Kinda?

I mean, things are just so complicated

Like

You like me, and I like you

But we also both like Kon and Kon… well

Anyway

It’s just a disaster waiting to happen

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I guess…

But why even tell me you liked me then

**Timmy <3:**

I just…

I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore

But I realized that all of this is too

Much and I’m scared I’m gonna lose

My best friends over this

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

You’re not

**Timmy <3:**

You can’t know that

I just

You mean too much to me Bartie

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I know…

I’m just just as confused as you are by all of this

I wish things could just go back to normal

But I think they probably can’t…

**Timmy <3:**

I don’t think they can…

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Yeah…

Anyway what I said the other day still applies

If you were to end up with Kon

I would be happy for you

**Timmy <3:**

I don’t think you have to worry about that

Pretty sure Kon isn’t into me

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Maybe you should talk to him

**Timmy <3:**

No use

He likes someone else

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I wouldn’t be so sure

**Timmy <3:**

Trust me, I know

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

No, trust ME, I know

**Timmy <3:**

What do you know exactly?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

You first

**Timmy <3:**

I can’t tell you, I promised

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

So did I

**Timmy <3:**

… Why do I have the feeling we don’t have

The same infos

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

What did the idiot do this time?

**Timmy <3:**

I don’t know

But I think we won’t get to the bottom of this

Unless we confront him

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I guess you’re right

But you know how he gets

If we just barge on him and start

Interrogating him

He’s gonna get defensive

**Timmy <3:**

Yeah well he should have

Thought about it before

Feeding us conflicting information

And swearing us to secrecy

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

Oh you’re pissed

**Timmy <3:**

I am

Aren’t you?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I’m too confused and scared to be pissed

And a little heartbroken

I mean I just got broken up with by my not boyfriend lmao

**Timmy <3:**

Bart…

I swear I’m not trying to hurt you

I really thought that was the best course of action

With the infos available to me

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I know

It’s just…

An emotional rollercoaster

Nothing makes sense

Like I always thought I had no chance with you

And then you told me that I did

And I just realized I also have feelings for Kon

And now you’re telling me we can’t be

In a relationship

And I can’t help but think you’re gonna end up

With Kon and like

Before when I was just aware

Of my feelings for you that was something

I dreaded a bit but I knew I’d be

Able to manage it

But now the pain has doubled and honestly

I’m trying to stay calm and deal with

All the intrusive thoughts

But I’m slowly losing it and

I just wish I had never said anything in the first place

Cause I can’t lose this

I can’t lose what we three have

It hurts so much just thinking about it that I can’t breathe

Oh man

I really can’t breathe

**Timmy <3:**

Baby

Listen to me

It’s going to be alright

You’re not losing anything

Or anyone

Are you alone?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I… yeah

**Timmy <3:**

Okay, I’ll be as fast as I can

Can you try and breathe for me while I get there?

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I can’t…

**Timmy <3:**

Would hearing my voice help? 

**(** **◕** **ワ** **◕** **✿** **):**

I… yeah

**Timmy <3:**

I’ll call you then 

**_Incoming call: Timmy <3_ **

****

_“You don’t have to talk alright? Just listen to my voice”_

_“…”_

_“Can you try and follow my breathing? Breathe in, 1, 2,3, and breathe out, 1,2,3. That’s good, you’re doing great baby.”_

_“’m sorry...”_

_“No no, none of that. You have nothing to apologize for. Hey, did I tell you the demon adopted a new puppy?”_

_“He did?”_

_“Uhuh. The manor is slowly turning into a pet shelter. I have to admit the puppy is adorable. Follows the kid everywhere. It’s fascinating how he’s so patient and affectionate with pets.”_

_“Probably got a lot of love to give… just doesn’t know how to do it”_

_“Hm. Maybe you’re right. We should go to the manor soon. I know how much you love puppies._

_“That’d be nice…”_

_“Good. We’ll do that soon. Hey Bartie?”_

_“hm?”_

_“You know I love you right?”_

_“Yeah… I know.”_

_“Good. Cause I do. I wish you knew how much. I’ve been trying so hard to find a way to give you all the happiness in the world and I keep failing. I’m sorry.”_

_“You’re not failing.”_

_“I kinda am though. But I’ll do better I promise.”_

_“I love you too, by the way.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah. Always have. Hard not to”_

_“Pot calling kettle.”_

_“Why is love so complicated?”_

_“It shouldn’t be. I think we’re making it a lot more complicated than it should be”_

_“Yeah, that’s what I think too… I’m tired.”_

_“Good thing I’m here then. Wanna cuddle until you fall asleep?”_

_“Please.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RULE NUMBER ONE: NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BREAK UP WITH BART EVER  
> Kon is gonna catch these hands if he doesn't fix the mess he's created soon
> 
> Next chapter: an intervention


	9. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a group of concerned parents stage an intervention and forces Kon to grow a pair and be honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!  
> I really love this chapter, and I have a feeling you will too!  
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Group chat (Dysfunctional Family)**

**Mom:**

Alright folks

This has gone on for too long

It’s about time we handled it

**Confused child:**

I don’t think this is necessary

**Mom:**

You don’t get to talk

Seeing as it’s your fault we’re in this situation

**Dad:**

I agree with Arty. I’m very disappointed in you

**Confused child:**

I know, I fucked up, no need to remind me

**Step dad:**

I honestly have no clue what’s going on

But I’m happy to be included

**Step mom:**

Mood

But I’d like an explanation as to

What exactly we’re supposed

To be mad at Kon about

**Mom:**

You ok with us telling them?

**Confused child:**

I guess

It can’t hurt at this point

**Mom:**

Damn right

Walls will you do the honors?

**Dad:**

Long story short

Kon has the hots for both Tim and Bart

He told Tim he liked Bart and Bart he liked Tim

Tim and Bart got very confused

I think tears were involved

Now they know Kon fed them conflicting infos

Without knowing the details

Cause he swore them both to secrecy

And Tim is pissed and Bart is freaking out

**Step mom:**

Oh dear…

That’s…

**Step dad:**

You done fucked up Conner Kent

**Confused child:**

You think I don’t know that?

**Dad:**

I warned you

I told you a lack of communication would

Ruin everything but you didn’t listen now

Did you?

**Confused child:**

And I told you I was a really bad communicator

I just panicked

They both confronted me at the same time

Asking if I liked the other

How was I supposed to react?

I didn’t want to lie to them

And technically I didn’t

**Step mom:**

A lie by omission is still a lie

**Mom:**

What she said.

You know you need to fix it right

**Step dad:**

Preferably soon before Tim goes murderous

If Bart is freaking out, he’s gonna

Be extra pissed knowing him

**Confused child:**

I don’t know how to fix it

**Mom:**

You can start with an apology

That’s always a good start

**Wally:**

And then maybe it might be time to

Come clean don’t you think?

**Confused child:**

I don’t know if I’m brave enough

For that

**Step mom:**

The way I see it they’re already upset

With you so what more do you have

To lose?

**Step dad:**

Zee’s right

You’ve made a huge mess

And you only have one opportunity

To fix it

They’re not gonna take a half explanation

So I suggest you get over your fears quickly

**Confused Child:**

Easier said than done

**Step dad:**

Dude

You’re talking to the guy who spent ten years pining

After his best friend

You think I don’t know what it’s like?

**Mom:**

Yeah, you picked the wrong group of people

To say easier said than done to lmao

**Step mom:**

I’m having war flashbacks

**Dad:**

How did we ever manage to get anywhere I wonder

**Confused child:**

You’re all just glossing over the fact that I’m

Not just in love with one of my best friends

But both of them

**Step mom:**

We’re not

It’s just not relevant to the fact that

You need to be honest with them

**Mom:**

You won’t lose them by being honest

**Step dad:**

But you might lose them by being deceitful

**Confused child:**

Fine

I’ll try to talk to them

**Dad:**

Good

**Mom:**

We’ll be there for moral support

**Step mom:**

You’re gonna need it lol

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Group Chat (Powerpuff Girls)**

**Buttercup:**

Hey um…

I think we need to talk

can we meet up?

**Blossom:**

Go eat a cactus

**Bubbles:**

Tim!

**Blossom:**

What I kept it kid friendly

**Bubbles:**

Dude

That is so not the point

**Buttercup:**

Look I know that you’re mad

And upset

And you have every right to be

But I want to apologize and explain myself

And I think it would be better face to face

**Bubbles:**

Probably yeah

**Blossom:**

Like hell I’m gonna let you be anywhere near

Bartie before you gave us a decent explanation

**Bubbles:**

I already told you I’m fine Tim

**Blossom:**

You’re really not and it’s like

70% his fault

I’ll take the other 30%

**Buttercup:**

I never meant to hurt either of you

I’ve just been…

Let’s say dealing with a lot for a while

But I realize I went about it all wrong

And I need to come clean with you guys

**Blossom:**

So do it

**Buttercup:**

I’d really rather we do it in person

**Blossom:**

And I’d rather not be in this situation

But we can’t always get what we want

Can we Conner?

**Bubbles:**

Sorry I don’t think even I could convince him right now

You’re gonna have to accept his terms

**Buttercup:**

Fine

So

Tim asked me if I liked you, Bart. And I told him I did

**Bubbles:**

You… but… wait

**Buttercup:**

Except you asked me if I liked Tim and I also said I did

**Blossom:**

… what the fuck

**Buttercup:**

I know, I’m a massive moron

Apparently I’m just really bad under pressure

**Bubbles:**

This… this is… wow

**Blossom:**

So which one of us did you lie to?

**Buttercup:**

What?

**Blossom:**

Which of these was the lie

Keep up Kent I’m already at

The end of my rope here

**Bubbles:**

Tim…

**Blossom:**

It’s okay baby everything’s gonna

Be alright no matter what I promise

**Buttercup:**

I didn’t lie

**Bubbles:**

…

**Blossom:**

What do you mean

**Buttercup:**

That I like both of you

Actually scratch that

Since I’m coming clean

Might as well not do it halfway

I’m madly in love with the both of you

Have been for years

And it was slowly driving me crazy

**Blossom:**

You…

You’re not serious

**Buttercup:**

I absolutely am

I didn’t know how to tell you

To be honest I was terrified to do it

Especially cause I know how much you love each other

I’ve been waiting for you two to get together for so long

Even though I didn’t know how I was going to

Cope once it happened

But the last thing I wanted was

To come between you

And I just

Honestly I haven’t been myself the past few days

I’ve been fighting with my own mind

Not knowing if I should pretend not to feel what I felt

Or take a leap

I took Wally’s advice of all people

And tried flirting with you

But that didn’t help my confusion at all

In fact it probably made everything worse

Cause I got a taste of

What I knew I could never have

And then you both caught on

Except not really cause you only guessed

Half the truth

And I didn’t know how to tell you the whole truth

And now I’ve ruined everything

And hurt you both

And I honestly don’t deserve your forgiveness

But I owed you the truth

The whole truth this time

So here it is

**Blossom:**

… Did you just say you took advice from WALLY?

**Bubbles:**

Oh my God Timothy shut the fuck up

**Blossom:**

Sorry but that’s shocking!

**Buttercup:**

I just professed my undying love for you

And this is what you’re stuck on?

**Blossom:**

I’m trying to compartmentalize

So I don’t have a mental breakdown

So I focus on a minor detail first

**Bubbles:**

Wish I knew how to do that

Cause ngl

I’m totally freaking out right now

**Blossom:**

Fuck

You need me to come?

**Bubbles:**

No it’s okay

It’s not a bad one

I think

Plus we need to finish this conversation

Cause I’m not letting another misunderstanding

Mess everything up

**Buttercup:**

Are you sure you’re okay Bartie?

**Bubbles:**

Yeah don’t worry about me

Now let’s get this show back on the road

Tim Honey you want to start?

**Blossom:**

Well when you ask like that how can I refuse?

I guess I should probably tell you that

I’ve also been in love with you for years Kon

**Buttercup:**

I’m sorry what?

**Blossom:**

Literally everyone knows

I don’t know how you’ve failed to notice

Bart has always known

He supported me all throughout my

“I’ve fallen for my straight best friend” phase

**Buttercup:**

I’m not straight

**Blossom:**

Yeah well I didn’t know that at the time did I?

**Buttercup:**

I can’t believe it

I thought you were in love with Bart all this time

**Blossom:**

I mean I probably was

But I only realized I had feelings for him

Recently. I was so focused on the one I thought

I could never have that I couldn’t see what was in front of me

But thankfully since Bart is the only intelligent

And functioning one out of the three of us

He still told me how he felt about me

Even if he thought he had no chance

**Bubbles:**

I mean I was just being honest

**Buttercup:**

Clearly something I have a hard time with

**Blossom:**

You and me both pal

Anyway so here I was

In love with one best friend and

The other one being in love with me

And then I started noticing things about Bart I

Never had before

And it didn’t take long for me to realize I was falling for him

Or had fallen I’m still not clear on that

But I also realized that I wasn’t falling out

Of love with you

Which made no sense to me and was pretty frustrating

**Buttercup:**

I get what you mean

**Bubbles:**

I guess it’s my turn huh?

So yeah I’ve had feelings for Tim

For forever basically

But it was clear to me it was going nowhere

Not when you were in the picture

**Buttercup:**

Bart

I’m so sorry

**Bubbles:**

Don’t

That’s one thing you should never apologize for

Anyway as I was saying

I just tried to get past it and be supportive

I was doing a pretty good job too

But the drunken night incident happened

And everything started to get messy

And out of no where I realized that

I had feelings for you too…

**Buttercup:**

Wait…

Really?

**Bubbles:**

Yup

That prompted Tim to tell me how he felt about me

And honestly we were so confused

And didn’t know where to go from here

Especially not knowing where you stood

And then you half-truthed us

And Tim decided to preemptively break up with me

Which, I don’t know if you have ever been

Broken up with by someone you’re not dating

But it sucks

**Blossom:**

Again, I’m very sorry about that

I was under the impression this idiot only liked you

And I didn’t want to put you in a position where

You had to choose between us

When the time came

**Buttercup:**

So I fucked up even more than I thought…

I created problems between you two

The exact thing I wanted to avoid

**Blossom:**

Yeah, that was pretty terrible

**Bubbles:**

I think we all have our part of responsibility

**Blossom:**

Literally no

You’ve never done anything wrong in your entire life

**Buttercup:**

It’s true that all throughout

You’ve been the most honest and open

And we should probably have taken your exemple

Even right now you’re pushing us to not

Let anything go unsaid

And to communicate with each other

**Blossom:**

What did we do in a past life to deserve you?

**Bubbles:**

Can you stop making me blush for 1 MINUTE

**Buttercup:**

No we can’t

**Bubbles:**

… fair enough

Moving on

What happens now?

**Buttercup:**

I have no clue

I guess…

As Wally would say

“Polyamory is a thing that exists”

**Blossom:**

You really need to stop talking to Wally that much

**Bubbles:**

I agree that’s disturbing

**Buttercup:**

He’s given me great support

And questionable advice

I think I would have been better off just

Listening to Artemis from the beginning though

**Bubbles:**

It’s always a good idea to listen to Arty

**Blossom:**

To get back to the subject

I think we need to take some time to think everything over

We’ve had a very emotionally draining night

I think the first order of business

Is getting some rest

And some cuddles

**Bubbles:**

Yay cuddles!

**Buttercup:**

Does that mean I’m not banned anymore?

**Blossom:**

Only cause you’re a good cuddle buddy

**Bubbles:**

What he means is that he doesn’t have the strength

To keep being mad at you right now

**Buttercup:**

I’ll take it

**Bubbles:**

Hey, can this be our first date?

**Blossom:**

If you want it to be

**Buttercup:**

Anything you want Bartie

**Bubbles:**

I think I’m gonna like this new development

Just fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAS KINGS OF COMMUNICATION  
> THANK GOD FOR ARTEMIS, WALLY, ZATANNA AND DICK
> 
> next chapter: a lot is left unsaid


	10. Brother Knows Best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick being the best™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> How are y'all? I for one am sick lmao I have a splitting headache but anywho  
> I hope I'l be able to write later today, but it's not a big deal cause I have lots of chapters pre written already. I just want to have as many written as possible before I have to go back to work  
> I'll stop rambling now, hope you enjoy! xxx

**Bird Brain:**

Heeeeeey Timmy

**Gremlin:**

Just ask what you want to ask and go

**Bird Brain:**

I’m offended

Can’t I just want to catch up

With my darling little bro?

**Gremlin:**

I know you Richard

You want to pry on my personal life

**Bird Brain:**

I just want to make sure everything’s ok

Is that so bad?

**Gremlin:**

And to that end you’re gonna ask

Every last detail about my love life

**Bird Brain:**

I mean…

**Gremlin:**

You’re lucky I’m far too tired

And comfy to argue with you

**Bird Brain:**

Lucky indeed

So

Spill

How did things unfold?

Kon never reported back to us

We thought you might have murdered him

And Bart out of loyalty helped you hide the body

**Gremlin:**

I nearly did not gonna lie

I was pretty pissed

**Bird Brain:**

Understandable

He was being an ass

**Gremlin:**

Absolutely

But everything is fine now

No more secrets

Everyone is on the same page

**Bird Brain:**

And what exactly is this page?

**Gremlin:**

That we’re all into each other

**Bird Brain:**

That’s it?

**Gremlin:**

What more do you want?

**Bird Brain:**

You

Lord give me the strength

**Gremlin:**

What?

**Bird Brain:**

You’re just gonna leave it at that?

You need to talk about what’s happening now

**Gremlin:**

We will

Later

We need time to process right now

**Bird Brain:**

I would say it’s a good and mature decision

Except I know you and I know for a fact

Your concern isn’t to have time to process

**Gremlin:**

I don’t know what you mean

**Bird Brain:**

Tim

What are you scared of?

**Gremlin:**

… Why do you always know

What’s happening in my brain?

**Bird Brain:**

I’m your brother

That’s my job

Tell me what’s wrong

**Gremlin:**

All the romantic relationships I’ve had

Have ended up going up in flames

**Bird Brain:**

And let me guess

You think it was unilaterally your fault

And you think you’re gonna screw up

This time too

**Gremlin:**

I mean considering my track record

It’s a strong possibility

**Bird Brain:**

Tim

At some point you’re gonna have to

Understand that not everything falls on

Your shoulders

You might have screwed up but

When a relationship doesn’t work out

It’s rarely only one person’s fault

And taking all the blame and guilt

For yourself doesn’t help anyone

**Gremlin:**

I just really don’t want to mess up this time

They’re different

If I fuck this up I don’t think I could recover

**Bird Brain:**

You won’t mess up

But you need to be honest with them

Tell them what you’re scared of

They’ll understand

But you absolutely need to communicate

It’s the base of any healthy relationship

Especially when there’s three people involved

**Gremlin:**

I know…

I just…

I don’t like being vulnerable

**Bird Brain:**

I know

It’s not an easy thing to accept

But ask yourself this:

Are they worth it?

**Gremlin:**

Of course they are

**Bird Brain:**

Then make the effort

You’ll regret it if you don’t

**Gremlin:**

I’ll try my best

**Bird Brain:**

Good

That’s all anyone can do at the end of the day

You know I’m there for you no matter what right?

**Gremlin:**

Yeah I know

Couldn’t get rid of you even if I wanted to

**Bird Brain:**

Damn right you couldn’t

You’re stuck with me kiddo

Now go and be grossly cute or something

Say hi to your boyfriends for me

**Gremlin:**

Not my boyfriends

**Bird Brain:**

Yet

**Gremlin:**

Yet

See you later Dickie

Love you

**Bird Brain:**

Omg you’re showing feelings

**Gremlin:**

Don’t make me block you

**Bird Brain:**

Kidding

Love you too tiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Dickie being a big brother to Tim, I should write that more often  
> Next chapter: Tim getting the love and appreciation he deserves


	11. Timmy Appreciation Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conner showing why he's boyfriend material

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!   
> I don't have much to say right now except I'm very overwhelmed and happy with the positive reactions towards this fic and it's makingme nervous to disappoint lol  
> I mean I'm very proud of all that I've written so far (which never happens) but I really hope it'll keep being up to your standards!  
> hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

**Dolly:**

We’re crashing at yours tonight

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

You don’t need to do that

I told you I’m okay now

**Dolly:**

Nope

You’re not doing this

What did we just talk about?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

That I needed to learn to let go and

Let you take care of me sometimes?

**Dolly:**

And?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

And to not be a stubborn little shit?

**Dolly:**

And?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

And that I was loved?

**Dolly:**

Good

So we’re crashing at yours

And it’s going to be a Timmy appreciation night

We’ll even watch the Hobbit for you

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

The whole trilogy?

**Dolly:**

If we must

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

I love you

**Dolly:**

I know

Are we okay now?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Of course we are

I mean I’m still worried I’m gonna mess it up somehow

I don’t think that can just go away like that

**Dolly:**

Yeah probably not

But you know to come and talk to us when

It starts eating up at you right?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Yes I do

**Dolly:**

Good

Look at us practicing healthy

Communication

Bartie’s gonna be so proud of us

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Let’s be honest

It doesn’t take a lot to make Bart proud of us

I don’t know if he has very low expectations

Or if we’re lost causes

**Dolly:**

Probably a mix of both

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Probably

But I agree we’re making progress

I think we’re gonna nail this boyfriend thing

**Dolly:**

This boyfriend thing

How romantic

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Like you’re any better

**Dolly:**

Excuse you

I’m very good at romance

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

I’ll believe it when I see it

**Dolly:**

In that case prepare to be swept

Off your feet Sweetheart

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Oh we’re doing pet names now huh?

Alright Honey Bun you’re on

**Dolly:**

Why is everything always a competition with us?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

It’s probable years of romantic tension

Have led to this

**Dolly:**

Makes sense

And I mean it does spices up the relationship

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

True

I have to go and pretend to actually care about

What Bruce is talking about now

See you tonight Sugar Plum

**Dolly:**

Can’t wait Angel Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Conner is adorable and so caring it hurts me in my soul he is my son I would die for him
> 
> Next Chapter: ex boyfriend etiquette


	12. Thank U Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ex boyfriends can make amazing friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> so. I missed Jiame, therefore I decided to add him impulsively and then my brain couldn't stop coming up with crazy stuff  
> so look forward to more of him in the future!  
> anyway I hope you enjoy! xxx

**El Barto:**

I have a question on ex-boyfriend etiquette

**Hermano:**

Are you gonna ask me how to deal with me?

**El Barto:**

Well who else can I ask?

I don’t have any other ex-boyfriends

**Hermano:**

You got me there

What’s your question?

**El Barto:**

Would it be a dick move to talk about a

New relationship with said ex-boyfriend?

**Hermano:**

I mean I think it depends on the relationship

You have with your ex-boyfriend

But In our case we’re friends before everything

So I would consider it a dick move if you did NOT

Talk to me about your new relationship

**El Barto:**

Oh that makes sense

**Hermano:**

Spill

I want every single detail

I didn’t even know you’d stopped liking Tim

And found someone knew!

**El Barto:**

Yeah about that

**Hermano:**

Noooo really?

You managed to bag THE Tim Drake?

He finally gave up on his age old infatuation

For Conner?

**El Barto:**

Oh boy I just realized you have a lot to catch up on

**Hermano:**

What do you mean?

**El Barto:**

I uh

I’m dating both of them

Tim and Kon

We’re all together

**Hermano:**

**…** what

**El Barto:**

Yeah I know it’s crazy

**Hermano:**

… I didn’t even know you liked Kon

**El Barto:**

Trust me it took me by surprise also

When I realized

**Hermano:**

Only you Bartie

As long as you’re happy and they treat you right

Though I guess it’s ok

**El Barto:**

Yeah?

**Hermano:**

Yeah of course

But you know if they step out of line

They’re gonna catch these hands

**El Barto:**

I wouldn’t expect any less

But right now I couldn’t be happier

I can barely believe that I got this lucky

Like, how did I of all people end up

In this scenario?

**Hermano:**

You’re kidding right?

If anyone’s lucky it’s them

Trust me I have excellent taste

I would never have dated you if you weren’t

A ten in all aspects

**El Barto:**

Thanks for the ego boost

I needed that

**Hermano:**

Anytime

What are ex boyfriends for

If not to boost your ego?

**El Barto:**

Pretty sure that’s just an us thing though

**Hermano:**

**Heh, maybe**

Anyway did you just want to share the news

Or was there something else you wanted to talk about?

**El Barto:**

Um kinda?

I mean everything has been going very well so far

But

**Hermano:**

But?

**El Barto:**

My anxiety hasn’t stopped spiking up

And like

Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Shouldn’t I feel less anxious now that I’m happy and in love?

Sorry I shouldn’t sprang that on you

It’s just been messing with my head

**Hermano:**

First of all you don’t have to apologize for venting

To me

And if you do it again I’ll kick your butt

Second, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that your

Anxiety should spike up right now

Because yes you’re happy

But we’re often more scared the more we have to lose

**El Barto:**

Oh

I didn’t think about it this way

**Hermano:**

Yeah, I gathered

I think it become less difficult to handle with thime

You need to adjust to this new normal and

Then it will stop seeling like it could be taken away

From you at any moment.

**El Barto:**

I guess you’re right

You’re good at this

**Hermano:**

I’ve had a lot of spare time

Since I took that break from the

Superhero business

And somehow that translated into me reading

Up on psychology

It’s just so fascinating man

**El Barto:**

You keep on surprising me Jaime Reyes

**Hermano:**

Part of my charm

**El Barto:**

Speaking of your charm

Anything you’d like to tell me?

**Hermano:**

About what?

**El Barto:**

Your love life?

**Hermano:**

Oh dear

Let’s not even go there

It’s…

Ugh

**El Barto:**

You sure you don’t want to talk about it?

**Hermano:**

I mean there’s this guy

That keeps barging into my life uninvited

And I don’t know what his deal is

And I guess he’s kinda cute

If that’s your type

But he’s also so infuriating

And he’s got way too much baggage for me to handle

Honestly I’d be better off buying a puppy

**El Barto:**

Hm

You like him

**Hermano:**

I do not

**El Barto:**

You totally do

**Hermano:**

Alright maybe I do a little bit

But I’m not even gonna entertain the idea

My life has finally started to make sense again

I’m not gonna throw it all away for some

Cute stalker

**El Barto:**

Who’s this guy anyway?

**Hermano:**

Wouldn’t you like to know?

**El Barto:**

I… do

That’s why I asked

**Hermano:**

Well I ain’t tellin’ you!

**El Barto:**

Come on!

**Hermano :**

Nope !

Bye Bartie !

**El Barto :**

Don’t you dare!

Tell me right now!

**Hermano:**

BYE

**El Barto:**

JAIME REYES

THIS CONVERSATION ISN’T OVER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe secrets and cliffhangers
> 
> Next chapter: the pros and Kons of crop tops (see what I did there?)


	13. So Let Me Hold Both Your Hands In The Holes Of My Sweater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon is having a serious wardrobe problem and his boyfriends don't seem really keen to help him fix it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> First of all this chapter is one of my favorites I've written so far (there's another one coming later down the lines that might challenge it as my fav but it's close)  
> I just got into this very cute fluffy mood and then it came to be, with a little stupidity cause that's my brand!  
> regarding the title, I jjust had to make a Sweater Weather reference at some point or another, and I thought it was the best time!  
> so here you go, hope you enjoy! xxx

**Group Chat (Powerpuff Girls)**

**Buttercup:**

This is getting out of hand

When I said you guys could borrow my clothes

I didn’t mean steal all of them

**Blossom:**

Maybe you should have been more specific then

**Bubbles:**

Can’t hear you over how comfy I am

In your black hoodie

**Buttercup:**

I literally have nothing to wear anymore

**Blossom:**

Sounds like a you problem

**Bubbles:**

Sounds like a you problem

**Buttercup:**

Ok that

Is creepy as fuck

**Blossom:**

No that’s cute

We’re cute

**Bubbles:**

We are

**Buttercup:**

Can I at least get some of my t-Shirts back

**Bubbles:**

I don’t steal your t-shirts

Only your hoodies and that

One sweater you own

Why don’t you own more sweaters?

**Buttercup** :

They don’t suit me

I only have this one cause Ma’ made it for me

**Bubbles:**

Ma’ Kent knitted you a sweater?

Oh my lord that’s adorable!

And what do you mean they don’t suit you?

You’d look amazing in a sweater!

**Blossom:**

He means it clashes with his punk rock persona

**Bubbles:**

Bitch where

**Blossom:**

Exactly

**Buttercup:**

Stop ganging up on me

Can we get back to my shirt problem?

**Bubbles:**

Ask Timmy

He’s the shirt stealer

**Blossom:**

Ok, in my defense

**Buttercup:**

Yes?

**Bubbles:**

Leave him a few seconds to try and

Find a reasonable excuse

That doesn’t out him as the biggest softie on the planet

**Blossom:**

I thought you were on my side

**Bubbles:**

You thought wrong

**Buttercup:**

I mean it’s not like I don’t like it when you wear my clothes

But not having anything to wear

Is taking it a bit too far

Especially since I can’t even retaliate and steal your clothes

Cause you’re both tiny

**Bubbles:**

You like us in your clothes huh?

**Buttercup:**

Sure I do

I ain’t ashamed about that

**Blossom:**

We’ll try and leave you some clothes to wear

**Buttercup:**

I guess I’ll take it

**Bubbles:**

And I mean you can always start using our shirts

As crop tops

You’d totally pull It off

**Buttercup:**

You’ve been obsessing over kpop boys

in crop tops again haven’t you

**Blossom:**

What do they have that we don’t?

**Bubbles:**

Uh crop tops for starters

**Blossom:**

Fair point

**Buttercup:**

Not sure I’m ready for that leap yet

I’m sorry Bartie

I’m not adventurous enough in my fashion sense

**Bubbles:**

I’m gonna pretend like that’s not a bold face lie

**Blossom:**

Don’t think we’ve forgotten about your original costume Superboy

**Buttercup:**

I thought we had agreed never to talk about that again

**Bubbles:**

I miss that costume

Iconic af

**Buttercup:**

I didn’t come here to be bullied

**Blossom:**

I mean at least it had flare

Now you’re literally wearing a t-shirt and jeans

It’s very bland

And you wonder why everyone thinks you’re straight

**Bubbles:**

Consider

Instead of the t-shirt

**Buttercup:**

No Bart, not the crop tops again

**Bubbles:**

Too late I’ve made up my mind

**Buttercup:**

Please don’t go and cut all my Superboy shirts into crop tops

**Blossom:**

Don’t worry I keep those well hidden

**Buttercup:**

What has my life come to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but since I've written this chapter and sent it to my two best friends (one male one female) they've come to the conclusion that they needed Kon in a crop top and I think I've made a terrible mistake lmao. but fun fact if you search Conner Kent in a crop top on google (sorry to my secret service agent for that) you can find exactly one (1) fan art that fits the bill so... yeah. 
> 
> next chapter: contrary to popular beliefs, Wally did not birth Bart


	14. Clingy Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally just misses Bart a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! I am currently dying of boredom caus eI'm working from home (read, listening to people teaching me how to do the job I've been doin for six months) and I've written three more chapters just this morning so I thought I could post one right now since I have a lot more pre written chapters than than planned
> 
> this one is kind of a two parter!   
> I hope you enjoy! xxx

**Did not birth me:**

You’ve abandoned me

**My literal child:**

Not this again

**Did not birth me:**

I get it

Now that you’ve got not one but two boyfriends

You don’t need poor old me anymore

**My literal child:**

I was literally over just two days ago

**Did not birth me:**

But tonight is trivia night!

**My literal child:**

Yeah well two nights ago was cuddle night

and I missed it because SOMEONE was being

Emotionally manipulative

and blackmailing me

**Did not birth me:**

I just wanna spend time with you

This would have never happened had you not moved out

**My literal child:**

Listen

I love you and Dickie

But you guys are too much to handle on a daily basis

Also I’ve seen things I don’t know how to unsee

**Did not birth me:**

I mean you could have knocked

**My literal child:**

That was a mistake on my part I’ll admit

What has gotten into you anyway

You didn’t use to be so clingy

**Did not birth me:**

I don’t know

I guess I just worry about you these days

**My literal child:**

Why?

**Did not birth me:**

Okay don’t make fun of me

But I’ve been having this recurring nightmare a lot

Where you’re hurt and you’re calling out for me

But I can’t reach you

And that’s messing with my head

**My literal child:**

How long has this been going on?

**Did not birth me:**

Um

Remember that mission when went on

Together where you almost died?

**My literal child:**

What the hell?

Wally that was four months ago!

Are you telling me you’ve been keeping this for yourself

For four whole months?!

**Did not birth me:**

I mean I thought it would pass

**My literal child:**

Why does no one In my life takes care of their mental health

I expected a lot more from you Wallace

I’m very disappointed

**Did not birth me:**

Hey, I’m the parent in this relationship

**My literal child:**

Not today you aren’t

You can’t just keep these things to yourself

And you know it too

I bet it’s kept you from getting a good night sleep for ages!

**Did not birth me:**

Mayhaps

**My literal child:**

I’m going to smack you behind the head

And then hug you to death

**Did not birth me:**

As long as I get a hug out of it

I guess that’s fair

**My literal child:**

Also trivia night is back on

Except I’m bringing Tim and Kon

Cause they’re kinda attached to me right now

And they say I’m the cuddle monster

**Did not birth me:**

You can never have too many people

At trivia night

Arty and Zee are also coming

And I think Dickie is trying to convince Jason to

Make an appearance also

**My literal child:**

Uhoh

**Did not birth me:**

What

**My literal child:**

You really want to put Jason and Tim in the same room

**Did not birth me:**

I mean

Last I heard they had stopped trying to murder each other

**My literal child:**

I mean sure it wouldn’t end up in death

But they still can’t spend five minutes without arguing

Plus there’s the fact that Kon still

Wants to bash Jason’s head into a concrete wall

**Did not birth me:**

Well

At least it will be entertaining

**My literal child:**

Since when have you become so resigned to chaos?

**Did not birth me:**

Since I’ve realized that they were all

Going to become my in laws and there was no changing them

I take Damian out to eat ice cream now

He still threatens to stab me occasionally

But he hasn’t done it so far

I consider that a win

**My literal child:**

Wow

I have to say I’m impressed

Pro tip just take Damian to dog or cat cafes next time

He can’t threaten to murder you if he’s petting a cute animal

**Did not birth me:**

How would you know that

**My literal child:**

Someone has to make sure Tim doesn’t get killed by his baby brother

I let Kon deal with Jason and I took care of Damian

Clearly I’m doing a better job than he is

**Did not birth me:**

Looks like it’s a job for speedsters

**My literal child:**

It’s our never-ending optimism

And stubborn happiness that does the trick

**Did not birth me:**

Clearly

**My literal child:**

Let’s hope the two of us will be enough to prevent

Another Robin war

**Did not birth me:**

I’ll handle the Robins if you can keep

The angry super in line

**My literal child:**

Deal

By the way should I bring snacks?

**Did not birth me:**

Do you even have to ask?

**My literal child:**

Yeah I figured

See you later Walls <3

**Did not birth me:**

Later Bartie <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw Walls you goof you're adorable. Bartie trying to parent him is hilarious too hebzana  
> next chapter: Trivia night


	15. Red Is Sus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim fears for the worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyyy!  
> I'm so tired you have no idea. I don't know if I'll have time to post tomorrow so I'll just update right now  
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Gremlin:**

He’s plotting something

**Bird Brain:  
** here we go again

**Gremlin:**

Look at him! You can’t tell me he’s not suspicious!

**Bird Brain:**

He’s literally just eating skittles

**Gremlin:**

Exactly!

That’s weird!

Why isn’t he being his evil psychotic self?

He hasn’t insulted me once!

He didn’t even just glare at me!

And he said hi to me!

HI!

**Bird Brain:**

Can we please not do this today?

I just want this night to go well for once

**Gremlin:**

And I want to not have to look over my shoulder all night!

I’m telling you, he’s up to something!

**Bird Brain:**

Have you considered that maybe

Just maybe

Jason is actually trying for once?

**Gremlin:**

Why would he do that?

**Bird Brain:**

Cause he’s tired of being an asshole?

And maybe being a loner isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?

**Gremlin:**

Sounds fake

**Bird Brain:**

Listen

I know you don’t trust him and I don’t blame you

But I really think he wants to make an effort here

**Gremlin:**

And you want me to make an effort too

**Bird Brain:**

I didn’t say that

**Gremlin:**

But you do

**Bird Brain:**

Listen

I’m not gonna ask you to do anything

Truth is, you’re the only one who has the right to decide

If you think Jason deserves your forgiveness

I’m not gonna stand there and force you into it

I love him, just as much as I love you

You’re both my little brothers

But I know what he’s done can’t just be swept under

The rug and forgotten overnight no matter

The circumstances

**Gremlin:**

Yeah…

Still

I don’t like putting you in this position

I can see how much it’s weighing on you

Trying to hold what’s left of this godforsaken family together

**Bird Brain:**

It’s a full time job with no pay

But it’s worth it

**Gremlin:**

Is it though?

It’s eating at you little by little

**Bird Brain:**

I’ll survive

**Gremlin:**

…

I’ll try and be civil with him

**Bird Brain:**

I told you, you don’t have to

**Gremlin:**

But I want to

I’m also tired of constantly fighting with him

And I mean I tolerate the demon now

Somewhat

So I might as well try with Jason too

I can’t do anything about Kon though

**Bird Brain:**

Yeah I wouldn’t expect him to

Ease up the protective boyfriend mode

But thanks Timmy

It meansa lot to me

**Gremlin:**

You’re welcome

… ok what exactly is happening now

**Bird Brain:**

I think Jay’s laughing at Bart’s joke

**Gremlin:**

I didn’t expect him to be able to laugh not maniacally

**Bird Brain:**

He sounds like a kid when he laughs doesn’t he

**Gremlin:**

He does

It’s very strange

But very not threatening

**Bird Brain:**

That’s a good sign isn’t it?

**Gremlin:**

I guess

**Bird Brain:**

Baby steps

Pay attention now your team is losing

**Gremlin:**

Oh we can’t have that

Then again you put me with Wally

That’s unfair

Where is Babs when I need her?

**Bird Brain:**

Babs said and I quote:

“Why would I hang out with you losers?”

But I have it on good authority she had

A date and didn’t want me to know

**Gremlin:**

Babs?

A date?

Oh we need to get to the bottom of this

**Bird Brain:**

Already on it mini me

**Gremlin:**

Let me know if you need assistance

I’m the only one who could spy on her

And not get murdered for it

You know I’m her favorite

**Bird Brain:**

Sadly that’s true

I’ll let you know

Now be polite and stop texting

**Gremlin:**

You first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aw Jason making an effort it makes me emo!  
> next chapter: the wrath of a Super


	16. Overprotective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just Kon going overboard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!   
> so here's another ot3 chapter!   
> I hope you enjoy! xxx

**Group Chat (Powerpuff Girls)**

**Buttercup:**

Timothy

**Bubbles:**

Oh he called you Timothy

This can’t be good

**Buttercup:**

Not now Bartholomew

**Bubbles:**

Understood I’ll shut up now

**Blossom:**

What is it dear?

**Buttercup:**

I just got to your apartment

Riddle me this

Why did I find your evil turd of a brother

Bleeding out on your sofa?

**Blossom:**

Crap

**Bubbles** :

Why is Jason bleeding out?

Is he alright?

Shouldn’t someone maybe take care of that?

**Buttercup:**

Not the point right now

**Bubbles:**

I mean it is kind of important

I know you hate him but perhaps letting him

Die is a bit extreme don’t you think?

**Blossom:**

Don’t worry Bartie he’s alright

The idiot probably tried to move and reopened

His stitches

I can’t leave him alone for two minutes

**Buttercup:**

Can we get back to why he is here in the first place?

**Blossom:**

Idiot got in the middle of a shooting

Apparently

Says my place was closer than his safe house

**Buttercup:**

And you let him in?

**Blossom:**

What was I supposed to do

Let him bleed out on my doormat?

**Buttercup:**

Why not?

**Blossom:**

Oh I’m sure the neighbors would have been pleased

**Bubbles:**

Plus that’s not a very nice thing to do

Pretty sure refusing to assist an endangered person

Is a crime

**Buttercup:**

Does he count as an endangered

person if he’s supposed to be dead

And he tried to kill Tim several times?

**Bubbles:**

I mean

It’s not like Tim’s the only one with an evil brother

At least his started out somewhat good

There is hope

**Blossom:**

I don’t think he’s evil tbh

I mean

An asshole for sure

And annoying as hell

But

**Buttercup:**

You can’t be serious

**Blossom:**

Listen

I told Dick I’d give him a chance

And I did ok

And I wouldn’t go as far as saying I like him

But I do trust that he’s not out to get me

Even though prolongued contact with him

Is really bad for my mental health

And he owes me a couch

**Buttercup:**

I don’t like this

**Bubbles:**

I do!

I’m proud of you Timmy!

**Blossom:**

Thanks I guess

**Buttercup:**

I don’t get you Bart

You remember what this monster did right?

How can you just be on board with

Tim even being in the same room with him?

**Bubbles:**

I do remember thanks for asking

And that’s never going to be okay

But first of all, it’s not our decision

Whether Tim forgives him or not

**Blossom:**

Thanks for that

**Bubbles:**

And second

If he ever tries to hurt even a hair of our Timmy’s body

An angry Kryptonian won’t be the only thing he’ll have

To be worried about

**Buttercup:**

Huh

**Blossom:**

Wow

**Bubbles:**

What?

**Buttercup:**

Nothing

Just

Maybe you should threaten people’s life more often

**Bubbles:**

I beg your pardon?

Why would I do that?

**Blossom:**

Cause that turns him on

**Buttercup:**

Like you can talk!

**Blossom:**

Guilty as charged

**Bubbles:**

You’re both terrible I hate it here

**Blossom:**

You’re blushing aren’t you

**Buttercup:**

Poor baby

**Bubbles:**

Let’s not do that now

Hey, how’s Jason doing?

**Buttercup:**

Well he’s not dead yet

I think he has a fever though

He keeps calling me Cindy

**Blossom:**

Oh, that hasn’t gotten better

He was calling me Melinda before he fell asleep

I think he thinks we’re nurses

Give him some meds please

I’ll be there soon

**Buttercup:**

You want me to take care of him ?

You might be pushing this too far

**Blossom:**

Bart?

**Bubbles:**

Must I really?

**Blossom:**

It will be faster if you do it

**Bubbles:**

Fine

Please Kon?

**Buttercup:**

No

**Bubbles:**

:( please?

**Buttercup:**

It won’t work this time

I’m immune

**Bubbles:**

:’(

**Buttercup:**

Still no

**Bubbles:**

・゜(。┰ω┰。).・゜

**Buttercup:**

That’s cheating

**Bubbles:**

Next level is a picture of my pouting face

You wanna test me?

**Buttercup:**

Let’s not

I’ll take care of the living corpse

**Bubbles:**

ヽ(*⌒∇⌒*)ﾉ

**Blossom:**

Truly impressive

You’re a master at this

**Bubbles:**

Thanks I try my best! :D

**Buttercup:**

Wait ‘til he uses it on you

You won’t laugh then

**Blossom:**

Whatever helps you sleep at night

**Bubbles:**

I have never felt more powerful in my entire life

**Buttercup:**

You can literally run at the speed of light

**Bubbles:**

Did I stutter?

**Blossom:**

He has all the makings of a supervillain

**Buttercup:**

Good thing he isn’t one, he would be lethal

**Bubbles:**

You mean I’m not one yet

(❁´◡`❁)

**Buttercup:**

Lord have mercy on our souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Kon he's struggling a lot   
> next chapter: Forgiveness (CAN YOU IMAAAAAAGIIIIINEEEE)


	17. Brothers (Or At Least Sort Of Friends)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making an effort, on both sides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey I'm back!   
> things are gonna be hectic in the next two days and I really want to put up a special chapter on friday but I don't know if I will have advanced the story enough for that (plus I haven't written it yet lmao) so I try and publish as many as I can until then.  
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Asshole:**

So

**Hobbit:**

What

**Asshole:**

Your boyfriend seems nice

**Hobbit:**

Are we talking about the same boyfriend

Who’s threatened you with bodily harm

Every two minutes for the whole time you were

In the same room?

**Asshole:**

I mean it shows he cares about you

That’s a good thing or whatever

**Hobbit:**

What are you trying to do

**Asshole:**

I don’t know

Small talks I guess?

**Hobbit:**

You’re getting more strange by the minute

I warn you

If you start talking about the weather

I’m getting you committed

**Asshole:**

I’m bad at this ok?

I don’t know how to act all

Nice and shit

I’m trying

**Hobbit:**

And you decided that talking about my boyfriend

Was a good start?

**Asshole:**

I mean it’s a decent subject

Isn’t that what you talk about with Dickiebird?

Life, your problems, your love life, normal stuff?

**Hobbit:**

You’re not Dick

**Asshole:**

Thank God for that honestly

But like

He’s your brother

And unfortunately mine too

**Hobbit:**

Don’t

**Asshole:**

Don’t what

**Hobbit:**

Don’t pretend like you don’t care about him

You can do that with Bruce, whatever he kind of deserves it

I get it

But not Dick

He’s important to you

Or you wouldn’t be here

Making an effort with me right now

**Asshole:**

Whatever

All this to say

Since we have a bother in common

I guess I’m trying to at least get to know

You a little bit

**Hobbit:**

I see

**Asshole:**

So let’s get back to Kent

How long have you been dating?

**Hobbit:**

Few months

**Asshole:**

Huh

Funny, I thought you had a thing for

The cute little speedster

**Hobbit:**

I’ve also been dating Bart

We’re all dating

**Asshole:**

No shit?

Nice one Timmy, didn’t know you had it in you

**Hobbit:**

You’re so weird

**Asshole:**

Yeah I know

Should I expect number two to come and threaten me too?

**Hobbit:**

Nah

If you piss him off you won’t see it coming

When you face his wrath probably

Don’t be fooled by his adorable little face

**Asshole:**

It’s always the cutest ones that are

The most lethal

**Hobbit:**

Exactly

But as long as you don’t plan on attacking me again

I think he’ll be pretty chill with you

He doesn’t have it in him to hold grudges for long

Tires him out

**Asshole:**

Letting go of grudges

A very foreign concept to me

**Hobbit:**

No kidding

**Asshole:**

Speaking of grudges

I never really apologized to you didn’t I?

**Hobbit:**

I didn’t really expect you to

**Asshole:**

It’s not really my style that’s for sure

But I mean

I kinda have to

**Hobbit:**

I mean not that it wouldn’t be appreciated

But I’m not really waiting for one anymore

Maybe it’s Bart’s influence

**Asshole:**

Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve one

And uh

I don’t really know where to begin

I mean I guess sorry for trying to kill you would be a good start

**Hobbit:**

Not bad indeed

**Asshole:**

Also sorry for holding things against you

That had nothing to do with you instead of

I don’t know

Going to therapy or something

**Hobbit:**

I don’t know how you’d explain yourself to a therapist to be fair

**Asshole:**

Yeah, this whole secret identity

Is kind of hindering

Anyway what I’m trying to say is

I was jealous, blinded by rage and grief

And you didn’t deserve to be my punching bag

You ain’t half bad kiddo

I wish things had been different

But I can’t blame anyone but myself for that

**Hobbit:**

First, never call me kiddo ever again

Second

I uh… thank you? I guess, for saying all that

I don’t know if we’ll ever heal completely from all this

But I think this is a good start

And I can see that you’re sincere

So

Let’s try and be sort of friends I guess?

At least non-threatening acquaintances?

**Asshole:**

Sort of friends is good

Eventually

**Hobbit:**

Good

Now that that’s out of the way

As your sort of friend I have to tell you you’re benched

No moving for at least two more days

You managed to reopen your stitches twice already

**Asshole:**

God you’re just as bad as Dick

**Hobbit:**

You’re not the one who’s gonna have to pay a fortune

To get your blood out of my poor innocent couch

It’s such a nice couch too

**Asshole:**

True

Really comfortable

**Hobbit:**

I’m glad you like it

Cause you’re not gonna leave it for a while

**Asshole:**

Yes mom

**Hobbit:**

You really need someone to parent you 24/7

**Asshole:**

I mean I died as a rebellious teenager

It’s hard to get out of a phase you haven’t been able

To fully experience

**Hobbit:**

I guess that’s fair

I have to go, I’m patrolling

Try and get some rest yeah?

I’ll see if Dickie can bring you something to eat

**Asshole:**

Please don’t send him

He fusses

**Hobbit:**

It’s his right and his privilege

He cares

Let him care

**Asshole:**

Ugh fine

But if he smothers me to death

I’ll hold you accountable

**Hobbit:**

I’ll take it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh I MISSED WRITING ABOUT JASON! like, wow. I love my Robins but that's not a surprise if you've read my previous works.   
> Also Tim is basically raising him now and that's very funny to me ksksksks Dick will be jealous he's supposed to be the dad-brother   
> Next Chapter: Konbart lovefest


	18. Insecure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon being insecure and Bart doing his best to reassure him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
> gah I'm so excited for this chapter! I loved writing it and honestly I love Konbart I did'nt know I'd love writing them so much!   
> here you go, hope you enjoy! xxx

**Connie <3:**

It’s been three hours

I don’t like this

I’m going there

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Don’t you dare

You promised to behave

**Connie <3:**

Anything could have happened to him by now!

Plus he doesn’t answer his phone!

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

He only doesn’t answer you

Because you’re a paranoid idiot

He texted me fifteen minutes ago

**Connie <3:**

He did?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Yes

Says the mission went well

and they were hungry so they went for tacos

See nothing to worry about

**Connie <3:**

What if it’s just Todd

Who stole his phone to make sure

We wouldn’t be suspicious?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I’m breaking up with you

**Connie <3:**

What it’s a valid concern!

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

No it’s not

Tim is fine

Jason is mostly non-threatening

Besides Barbara was supervising this mission

You’re being overprotective and crazy

**Connie <3:**

Fine

Maybe I’m going overboard a bit

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

More than a bit

**Connie <3:**

I can’t help it

I’m constantly worried

When it comes to that guy

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I know

And Tim knows it’s out of concern and love

That’s why he hasn’t called you out on it yet

**Connie <3:**

But that wouldn’t stop you

You live to call me out

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Only when you deserve it

**Connie <3:**

True

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

You need to get your mind off of this situation

Let’s go out

**Connie <3:**

Mr. Allen

Are you asking me on a date?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Not if you’re gonna make fun of me

**Connie <3:**

I’m just teasing

We haven’t spent time just us two for ages

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

That’s cause you’ve been weird every time we’ve been alone

Ever since we started dating

**Connie <3:**

Have I?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Kinda

I didn’t want to mention it

I figured you’d talk about it when you’re ready

**Connie <3:**

Oh

Well

I guess I’m just

Nervous?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Why though?

**Connie <3:**

It’s just

I know you like me

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

We’re literally dating what the fuck

**Connie <3:**

No but hear me out

It’s like

I know you have feelings for me

You’ve told me and you’d never lie to me

But I…

Sometimes I just feel like

What you have with Tim is so special and

I’m just kind of

In the way?

If that makes sense?

I mean you only started having feelings for me recently when

I’ve been in love with you so long and

I guess I’m just scared you’ll realize you’ve made a mistake?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Kon…

You should have talked to me earlier

**Connie <3:**

I know

It’s just…

I didn’t know how to word it I guess

I didn’t want to make another mess

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

It’s important that you feel comfortable

Expressing your doubts and fears

And I want you to know you have nothing to fear

sureI realized my feelings for you late

but that doesn’t mean they’re not real

I love you Kon

No less than Tim, not more either

Just different

**Connie <3:**

Different how?

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

How can I put this

It’s like Tim is a swimming pool in the middle of summer

And you’re a fire place on a blizzard day in winter

**Connie <3:**

I’m not sure I follow

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

It’s like

Tim keeps me grounded and having him by my side

Is making everything less intense, less messy

But you make me feel safe

And warm and home

I wouldn’t say there’s one I prefer over the other

Both feelings are complimentary

And I wouldn’t want to keep one over the other

**Connie <3:**

That’s

That’s really beautiful Bartie

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Stop I’m really embarrassed already

**Connie <3:**

You shouldn’t be

I mean I’m not as good as you are to

Express what I feel

I wish I was though

But I struggle to find the right word to describe it

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

You don’t need to

You show it in other ways

Words can fail

Actions rarely do

**Connie <3:**

I guess you’re right

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Are you reassured now?

**Connie <3:**

I am

Sorry about all that

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

No don’t

I know what it’s like to doubt everything

I mean I do too sometimes

And we both know Tim does too

I think we just need to keep being honest with each other

And do more one on one dates too

I mean we both have a lot of one on one time with Tim

Maybe we should take time for the two of us too

**Connie <3:**

That sounds nice

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

And it starts right now

We’re going ice skating

**Connie <3:**

Why ice skating of all things?

I don’t even know how to skate

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

I’ll teach you ! it will be fun!

And cute!

And then we can go see one of those big explosions

Movies you like so much

**Connie <3:**

I do like those

Alright I’m game

**#1 Threat to my mental stability:**

Perfect!

I’ll be there in a minute, love you!

**Connie <3:**

Love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blblbl I LOVE THEM OMG THEYRE ADORABLE EENIOZFEEFZBO
> 
> Next Chapter: panic


	19. Didn't Know They Were Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime is freaking out, Bart does his best to calm him down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi.  
> I'm so nervous lmao  
> this chapter is progressing one of the main subplots of this story and it's one I'm not so confident about lmao  
> anyway I'm posting this now so I can't backtrack lol (I mean I could but nothing would make sense)  
> Hope you enjoy xxx

**Hermano:**

Fuck okay

I uh

I need to vent really bad

And I might be a little freaked out

A lot actually

**El Barto:**

I…

Are you alright?

Do you need anything?

I can get to wherever you are asap

**Hermano:**

No no it’s just

I

I just need to let some things out of my chest

And you’re the only one I trust enough for that

**El Barto:**

I’m always happy to listen Jaime

Tell me what’s wrong

**Hermano:**

I…

Well remember that guy I was talking about

The other day?

Well today he managed to annoy me again all day

Like he does periodically

And I let him cause

Long story short he hadn’t done it for a while and

I was worried he’d died or something so

I guess I was kinda relieved to see that wasn’t the case

**El Barto:**

**I** mean it’s always a plus when your crush isn’t dead

**Hermano:**

Anyways so he pestered me all day and

I didn’t really feel like being annoyed at him so I just

Let him do whatever he wanted

Which apparently resulted in watching

A very bad horror movie and ordering pizzas

RIP my study night

**El Barto:**

Are you sure you’re not dating this guy?

**Hermano:**

I’m not!

I think I’m not at least but nothing makes sense anymore

Anyway we were watching the movie and I was really sleepy

And in my defense finals have been killing me and I didn’t

Get enough sleep and anyway

Long story short I kinda fell asleep on him

**El Barto:**

And here I thought I was the chaotic one

in this relationship

**Hermano:**

That’s not even the worst part

When I woke up I was obviously

Very embarrassed

But he just shrugged it off and called me cute

Then he said he had to go

And he added and I quote: “we should do this more often”

And then

**El Barto:**

Then?

**Hermano:**

Then he um

He might have

Kissed me?

**El Barto:**

What the fuck Jaime

**Hermano:**

I KNOW OK

**El Barto:**

And what did you do?

**Hermano:**

... mayhaps I kissed back

**El Barto:**

Dude

You’re dating him

You’ve probably been dating him for a while

And didn’t notice

**Hermano:**

I just

I don’t know how I got to this point

At first he just approached me for infos

On a case

**El Barto:**

Oh so he’s a Superhero

**Hermano:**

More of a vigilante but anyway

And then I kinda helped him with the case

Cause I felt obligated since it was one of my

Old regular villain that was causing mayhem

And after that he kinda just

Stuck around?

And I don’t know

It’s

It’s so strange and I don’t even know what he’s trying to do

And that scares me

I didn’t want to catch feelings

He’s so difficult to read and he just frustrates me so much

But he’s also

Kinda sweet?

In his own way? Like I think he realized I was a lot more

Damaged than I let on

And he’s been wanting to keep an eye out for me for that?

**El Barto:**

We’ll get back to your damage comment in a minute

Cause I have a feeling you’ve hidden more than a secret love

Interest from me

But one situation at a time

Jaime it’s obvious this guy likes you

And I think you’re seeing things as complicated

When they’re really straight forward

He’s basically told you he wanted more of those

Hang outs that are obviously dates with you

And he’s left the ball in your court

Now you just need to decide if that’s what you want

Or not

**Hermano:**

I don’t know…

I just….

He’s…

He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever liked

I wouldn’t have thought I’d go for someone like him

In a million years

But he’s also…

The more I spend time with him the more

I see all those hidden traits of him that are actually so

Endearing

Like the way he can quote classic literature and loves to

Read for hours

Or how he’s actually really goofy when he’s comfortable

Also he can speak Spanish

**El Barto:**

Dude you’re smitten

**Hermano:**

Ugh I am aren’t I

**El Barto:**

Just send him a text

Ask him to hang out some time this week

And see where it goes from there

**Hermano:**

i… I guess it can’t hurt

I’ll try that

Thanks Bartie

You have no idea how freeing it is to finally

Talk to someone about all that

**El Barto:**

I’m always here to listen to you Jaime

Which leads me back to the second subject

You haven’t been doing that well lately have you?

**Hermano:**

I guess I haven’t…

It’s just

I really thought it was behind me you know?

The trauma

The mind control

But it’s just come back to haunt me

And I haven’t been dealing with it as well as I should have

**El Barto:**

You should have come to us

Any of us

We’re your friends

I’d even go as far as saying we’re your family

At least to me you are family

**Hermano:**

You’re my family too Bartie

**El Barto:**

You’ve always supported me

Took care of me

Let me take care of you from time to time okay?

**Hermano:**

I just…

Don’t want to be a burden

**El Barto:**

You never are

Please just reach out anytime

I’ll drop everything in an instant

You’re more important

**Hermano:**

Stop flirting

You have boyfriends

**El Barto:**

So do you apparently

**Hermano:**

Can’t believe I’m in a

“didn’t know they were dating”

Fanfiction

**El Barto:**

The level of obliviousness is outstanding

Are you still not gonna tell me who this guy is?

**Hermano:**

Trust me

You don’t want to know

But I’ll tell you eventually

If it really ends up being something and I’m not

Just tripping

**El Barto:**

I guess I can wait

But not too long

I do need to check for myself if he’s good enough for you

**Hermano:**

Bart you’re literally a baby

**El Barto:**

I’ll have you know I’m an actual adult

**Hermano:**

Lying is bad

**El Barto:**

I’ll block you

**Hermano:**

Sure you will

**El Barto:**

You’re lucky I love you

**Hermano:**

I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> IM SO SCARED OML   
> Ok so as some of you probably know if you're long time readers I have severe anxiety and I'm just terrified that y'all aren't gonna like the directionI chose to take with this subplot and it's messing with my brain lmao. but then again last time I said that itended up being for Superdickie and it went down pretty nicely so who knows!  
> anyway   
> Next chapter: it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do


	20. Just Say I Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> making terrible decisions and their consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
> oh my Lord I'm so excited for this chapter ksksksks  
> it's honestly pure stupidity which is why I love it so much  
> I hope you enjoy! xxx

**Dickie <3:**

Hey, we don’t have anything planned tomorrow right?

**Walls <3:**

Not that I’m aware of no

**Dickie <3:**

Good

Let’s get married then

**Walls <3:**

Sure

What time

Wait what?

**Dickie <3:**

We’ve been engaged for two years now

This is getting old

And every time we try to plan a wedding

Some emergency happens

So let’s have a courtroom wedding

And be done with it

**Walls <3:**

You’re unbelievable

**Dickie <3:**

I just don’t like to wait alright?

**Walls <3:**

I mean if you really want it

Then let’s do it

But you know everyone is gonna kill us right?

**Dickie <3:**

I honestly couldn’t care less

**Walls <3:**

Have you considered Alfred’s wrath

Is gonna follow you for centuries?

**Dickie <3:**

I’ll survive

**Walls <3:**

You’re really determined

Don’t we need like

Witnesses at least?

**Dickie <3:**

Oh I already called Babs

**Walls <3:**

Figures

I’ll call Arty then

See if she’s free

**Dickie <3:**

Good

Can’t wait

**Walls <3:**

You’re insane

**Dickie <3:**

And you’re insanely in love with me

**Walls <3:**

Point made

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Group chat (Dysfunctional Family)**

**Blossom:**

Ok

Kon, is Bartie with you right now?

**Buttercup:**

Uh yeah

Why?

**Bubbles:**

We’re baking cookies! :D

I’ll save some for you

For when you come back!

**Blossom:**

That’s good baby

I’m sure they’ll be delicious

Um

Can you sit down please?

**Bubbles:**

… why?

**Blossom:**

Kon initiate Giant Teddy Bear mode

**Buttercup:**

I’m scared

But the target is safely entrapped

Into my arms

**Bubbles:**

What’s going on

And why do I have to be entrapped

**Blossom:**

So you don’t commit murder

When I tell you what I have to tell you

**Buttercup:**

Now that you’ve put the fear of God into us

Can you tell us what’s going on?

**Blossom:**

I’ll just get it over with and say it

Dick and Wally are married

**Bubbles:**

They do act like an old married couple that’s true :)

**Blossom:**

…

**Buttercup:**

Bartie my love

I don’t think that’s what Tim meant

**Bubbles:**

What did he mean then? :)

Cause he can’t mean they got married :)

Because there is no way they would get married

Without me present :)

**Blossom:**

Baby

**Bubbles:**

Nope :)

They’re going to have a beautiful ceremony in the spring

And Damian and I get to be flower boys :)

**Buttercup:**

Damn now I’m pissed too

I would have paid good money to see that

**Blossom:**

Now’s not the time Superboy!

Bartie?

I’m sorry but it really happened

They had a courtroom wedding

With Babs and Arty as witnesses

**Bubbles:**

They :) can’t :) have :) gotten :) married :)

Without :) me :)

**Buttercup:**

I think you broke him

**Blossom:**

I was afraid that was going to happen

**Buttercup:**

I mean you did tell him his substitute parents

Got married and didn’t invite him

**Bubbles:**

I’m fine! :)

Totally fine :)

Kon can you let go of me please? :)

**Blossom:**

Don’t you dare let him go

He’s gonna go berserk

**Buttercup:**

Oh yeah I know

Bart, light of my life

Let’s not do this right now alright?

Let’s just cuddle

**Bubbles:**

I just want to talk to them that’s all :)

**Blossom:**

You’ll talk to them tomorrow

When you’re a little less crazy

**Bubbles:**

Fine!

I see everyone I love is a traitor anyway!

**Buttercup:**

Aw don’t be like that

We’re doing this for you own good

**Blossom:**

Yeah, we’re just looking out

For our baby

**Bubbles:**

Hm

I’m still pissed

I want to scorch the earth

**Buttercup:**

You should see him Timmy

He looks like an angry kitten

**Blossom:**

I can’t believe I’m missing that

**Bubbles:**

Stop making fun of my misery!

**Buttercup:**

We’re not darling

You’re just very adorable when you’re angry

I wanna smooch every inch of your face

**Blossom:**

The question is why haven’t you done it already

**Buttercup:**

Good question

I’m doing it now

He turned into a giggling mess

My heart is going to explode

**Bubbles:**

It tickles!

**Blossom:**

Of all the days to be away from you guys

I too wanna smooch Bart’s face while he giggles

**Bubbles:**

Should have thought of it before leaving us for

Three whole days!

I told you something terrible was gonna happen and it did!

This is all your fault!

**Blossom:**

How is Dick and Wally being impulsive idiots my fault?

**Bubbles:**

I don’t know but I’m sure it is!

**Buttercup:**

You had to piss him off again didn’t you

I’m gonna run out of kisses

**Blossom:**

Like that’s possible

**Bubbles:**

It’s not fair

I want to be mad but

Kon’s kisses are really disarming

**Blossom:**

He finally found his secret weapon

**Buttercup:**

It’s a real gift

**Bubbles:**

I’m still upset about this

**Blossom:**

I know baby

That’s why I’ll help you plan a revenge if you want

**Bubbles:**

You will?

:D Thanks Timmy I love you

**Buttercup:**

I would be concerned for Dick and Wally

But they had it coming

Can’t wait to see my boys in action

For once I’m not gonna be on the receiving hand of the chaos

**Blossom:**

Aw look at that

We even have our own cheerleader!

**Bubbles:**

Ooooh !!!!

**Buttercup:**

No

No I’m not wearing a cheerleader costume

**Bubbles:**

But

**Buttercup:**

Nono don’t do that

Oh no

**Blossom:**

Let me guess he’s using his biggest pouting face

**Buttercup:**

Why am I so weak

Ok I’ll get pompoms but that’s it

**Bubbles:**

And you’ll do a cheer song?

**Buttercup:**

… yes, yes I will

**Blossom:**

The level of whipped

Outstanding

**Buttercup:**

Like you’re any better

**Blossom:**

I mean

We’re dating a weapon of mass destruction

When it comes to cuteness

We can’t be blamed

**Bubbles:**

You guyyys

I love you so much

**Blossom:**

And we thank the stars every night for

This miracle

**Buttercup:**

Facts

**Bubbles:**

You’re both ridiculous

Anyway Timmy we love you but

We’re gonna make out now

**Blossom:**

Why must you torture me this way?

**Buttercup:**

We’ll make it up to you when you get back

**Blossom:**

You better

Have fun babes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AIEHDNDNDF RICHARD GRAYSON WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS FKIEJZJSDNSP also Wally knowing this is the worst idea imaginable but still going with it cause he's whipped I...  
> Poor Bartie he didn't deserve this! but I mean getting smooched all over the face by Kon is an amazing compensation imo  
> Next Chapter: well this is awkward


	21. Listen To Your Heaaaaaart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awkward aftermath of a discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiiii!  
> the plot thickens lmao.  
> You won't get the official answer until tomorrow I'm afraid, cause next chapter (that I will publish later tonight, I mean tonight forme, a European) doesn't deal with this subplot.  
> but it's coming first thing tomorrow morning!   
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Chicken Little:**

So um

Maybe we should

Talk about what just happened?

**A Bug’s Life:**

Do we have to?

Can’t we just pretend you never saw me?

**Chicken Little:**

I mean trust me I wish I could

But I don’t think it would work

**A Bug’s Life:**

Worth a try

**Chicken Little:**

So

How long has… this

Been going on?

**A Bug’s Life:**

It’s… complicated

**Chicken Little:**

I can believe that for sure

**A Bug’s Life:**

I don’t even know where to start

**Chicken Little:**

The beginning?

I mean I didn’t even know you guys even

Knew each other

Like of course you knew OF each other

But enough for him to have his tongue down

Your throat?

**A Bug’s Life:**

Oh my God don’t say it like that!

**Chicken Little:**

It’s true though!

**A Bug’s Life:**

You’re disgusting

**Chicken Little:**

Oh I’m the one that’s disgusting

That’s rich coming from you Blue

**A Bug’s Life:**

I despise you

**Chicken Little:**

Yeah yeah

Let’s get back on track

So?

**A Bug’s Life:**

I mean I guess we’ve been… acquainted for

A little less than a year now

As for…

The rest of it

It’s pretty recent

Two or three weeks I’d say

More or less

**Chicken Little:**

Does Bart know?

**A Bug’s Life:**

He knows I’m kinda seeing someone

Doesn’t know who

And I’d like to keep it that way for now if you don’t mind

**Chicken Little:**

I mean it’s not my secret to tell

But I think you shouldn’t hide it

**A Bug’s Life:**

It’s just

Nothing makes sense anymore

I don’t even know what I’m doing

I don’t know what’s really going on

I’m lost

**Chicken Little:**

I think you need to stop listening to your head

Obviously it’s not helping you make sense

Of anything

Listen to what you’re feeling

**A Bug’s Life:**

Are you about to start singing Listen To Your Heart?

**Chicken Little:**

I’m trying to be serious here

This is what I get for trying to be a supportive friend

**A Bug’s Life:**

Sorry I’m just nervous

I don’t know…

I like what we have going on

It’s not…

It’s not how I pictured my love life would go

But it’s…

It just works

You know?

**Chicken Little:**

Kinda

I mean it’s not the same situation

At all

But I never could have imagined I’d end up

With two boyfriends

**A Bug’s Life:**

No kidding

**Chicken Little:**

Yeah

And what I’ve learned these past few months

Is that sometimes the only thing that makes

It all complicated is your own brain

**A Bug’s Life:**

Hearing it from you of all people is really strange

You’re the king of thinking too much

**Chicken Little:**

Yeah that’s true

I’m trying to do that less

Sometimes it works

Sometimes it doesn’t

But it just means I get to try again

So I just take a breath and focus on the now

**A Bug’s Life:**

The now

**Chicken Little:**

Yes the now

How are things now?

**A Bug’s Life:**

They’re… good

Really good to be honest

**Chicken Little:**

Then that’s all that matter for the moment

**A Bug’s Life:**

I guess you’re right…

Chicken Little:

Like always

**A Bug’s Life:**

Don’t push it

**Chicken Little:**

You’re just jealous of my genius

I think I know the answer

But have you talked to him about all that?

**A Bug’s Life:**

Lmao no

Tbh we’ve been so terrible at communication

That I have probably been kinda dating him for

Longer than I think without realizing

**Chicken Little:**

Disasters the both of you

Just talk

It’s not something you can just ignore

Communication first and foremost

Trust me it can make or break a relationship

**A Bug’s Life:**

Oh yeah I heard the story

Not you breaking up with Bart before even dating him

You chaotic mess

**Chicken Little:**

I was trying to be selfless

**A Bug’s Life:**

That was you thinking too much wasn’t it?

**Chicken Little:**

Point for Jaime

**A Bug’s Life:**

I’ll try this communication thing I guess

**Chicken Little:**

Good

Matter of fact do it right now

**A Bug’s Life:**

Now?

**Chicken Little:**

Yes Jaime we live in the now

That’s the whole point

**A Bug’s Life:**

Fine

Thanks for everything Tim

**Chicken Little:**

Anytime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gaqkssdj I MISSED WRITING ABOUT MY BABIES JAITIM I LOVE THEM UGHHHHHH  
> They're nowhere near as close as either versions from my previous series, but still just them being friends makes me a happy bean nsddsnps
> 
> Next Chapter: revenge toaster


	22. Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally gets what he deserves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude I'm so tired but I just have to upload this one today otherwise everything is gona be delayed and it would be a nightmare. anyway I'm pre writing my notes cause I'm saving a draft and tking a nap until I inevitably wake up and just have to press post lmao  
> Hope you enjoy! xxx

**Don’t Answer:**

Please tell them to stop

**Mini Sups:**

Sorry, can’t help you

Not that I understand why you would

Ask me for a favor when I’m not good enough to

Be at your wedding

**Don’t Answer:**

Not you too!

I’m sorry okay but Dickie just wanted to

Get it over with!

**Mini Sups:**

Oh I don’t really care

Tbh if I was the marriage type I would probably also have eloped

But Bart is MAD mad

**Don’t Answer:**

I know!

I’m terrified!

The fact he’s teaming up with Tim doesn’t help

**Mini Sups:**

And Damian

**Don’t Answer:**

What?

**Mini Sups:**

Damian is also in on this

He’s also very irate

Plus Alfred is encouraging them

**Don’t Answer:**

…. I mean I did say Alfred would have

Our heads

but did Dickie listen?

No. no he didn’t

But Damian really?

**Mini Sups:**

Kid likes to be included

Which you didn’t do but Bartie and Timmy did

**Don’t Answer:**

I’m not gonna survive this am I

**Mini Sups:**

Nope

And you have no one to blame but yourself

Sucks to be you

**Don’t Answer:**

You’re enjoying this aren’t you

**Mini Sups:**

Oh yeah

I especially liked the green and orange Nightwing costume

Dick looked like a carrot

Oh and you getting hung by your feet for hours

Was really funny too

**Don’t Answer:**

You’re a monster

**Mini Sups:**

Maybe

But I’m not the one who broke poor Bartie’s heart

By leaving him out of the happiest day

Of my life

**Don’t Answer:**

I get it I’m a terrible person

I just didn’t know that was so important to him

**Mini Sups:**

Of course it was

You’re literally his favorite person in the world

And he also has a really big soft spot for Dick

He was looking forward to this

**Don’t Answer:**

What do you propose we do to fix this?

**Mini Sups:**

Heh, just let him get all the rage out

He’ll probably be okay in a day or two

You know how he is

**Don’t Answer:**

Yeah I guess

….

My toaster just exploded with glitter

**Mini Sups:**

Tell me you were making toasts

**Don’t Answer:**

I was

**Mini Sups:**

You look like a disco ball don’t you

**Don’t Answer:**

I do

**Mini Sups:**

I love their brains

**Don’t Answer:**

I hate glitter

It’s impossible to get rid of

**Mini Sups:**

That’s the whole point

I’ll leave you to it now

Good luck Wally

You’re gonna need it

**Don’t Answer:**

Guess what you’re not invited to my funeral either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no sympathy for disco ball Wally  
> next chapter: Starbucks strikes back


	23. Coffee Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kon is enabling Tim's Sttarbucks addiction. Bart is not amused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIII!  
> Today is gonna be a great day, I'm excited!  
> here's the first chapter of the day (I'll upload three today!)  
> hope you'll enjoy! xxx

**Group chat (Dysfunctional Family)**

**Blossom:**

Bartie you’ll never guess what just happened

**Bubbles:**

Another Tim vs social interactions story?

**Buttercup:**

We could make a whole book out of those

**Blossom:**

This one is different though!

**Bubbles:**

Alright then

Spill

**Blossom:**

So we were at Starbucks right

**Bubbles:**

Ew! Again?

Wait we?!

Kon! How could you! I trusted you!

**Buttercup:**

I’m sorry he corrupted me

I really like their frappuccinos

**Bubbles:**

Must I stand alone in this war

**Blossom:**

Anyway back to me

So we were waiting for our order

And you know how we have this friendly competition for the

Worst pet name imaginable

**Bubbles:**

Is Sweet Potato still winning?

**Buttercup:**

I think we’ve agreed on Connie Doll being the worst

**Blossom:**

One of my finest work of art

It works on so many levels

**Bubbles:**

Fascinating

Back to the story

**Blossom:**

Yeah so

We were talking about some pointless thing

And I chose this moment to call Kon Dreamy Eyes

And he answered with Sweet Prince

We were about to cringe and laugh

When this girl in front of us just turns with a scowl

On her face and looks us up and down and just asks

“ are you guys like, gay or something?”

**Bubbles:**

this bitch

**Buttercup:**

She was one of those people who think

“don’t talk to me before I got my coffee”

is a personality trait

**Bubbles:**

Ugh

This is what you get for going to Starbucks

What did you do?

**Blossom:**

Well I was about to tear into her

And probably make her cry

When Kon just shrugged, took my hand and said

Tell him what you said Kon

**Buttercup:**

It’s not even that good

**Blossom:**

It is! He’s gonna love it!

**Bubbles:**

Come ooooon Kon tell meeee

**Buttercup:**

Alright alright

I said “no, but our boyfriend is”

**Bubbles:**

APAJDNDNDKZ

GOLD

ABSOLUTE GOLD

**Blossom:**

RIGHT?

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE

SHE WAS SO CONFUSED SHE COULDN’T EVEN BE MAD

**Bubbles:**

LOOK AT YOU CONFUSING THE STRAIGHTS

I LOVE YOU UGHHHH

**Buttercup:**

You’re highly overrating this

**Bubbles:**

No I don’t think we are

**Blossom:**

I was left speechless it was glorious

**Buttercup:**

Our drinks are ready

**Blossom:**

Finally!

Let’s go sit over there

Huh

On second thoughts let’s go somewhere else

**Bubbles:**

I mean not that I don’t approve but why

**Buttercup:**

Hey isn’t that Jaime over there?

**Blossom:**

Nope

You’re not seeing clearly

**Buttercup:**

I’m pretty sure it is Jaime though

**Bubbles:**

Jaime is going to Starbucks too now?

Guys you’re all a disgrace to society!

Wait, maybe he’s meeting his mysterious boyfriend!

**Buttercup:**

What mysterious boyfriend?

**Blossom:**

Yeah what

That’s so unexpected

**Bubbles:**

It’s a long story but basically he’s got someone in his life

and doesn’t want to tell me who it is

so I’mma need you two to spy on him right now

**Blossom:**

I uh

I don’t think that’s a good idea

**Buttercup:**

I’m supposed to be the one refusing

To violate someone’s privacy

Not you Timmy

**Bubbles:**

Yeah what’s up with you?

You’re always ready to snoop!

**Blossom:**

Yeah well I just realized

I didn’t want to be like that anymore

Jaime will probably tell you when he’s ready

**Bubbles:**

…. You’re so weird

**Buttercup:**

Yeah I have to agree with Bart

What’s up with

WAIT

WHAT THE FUCK

**Bubbles:**

WHAT

WHAT’S HAPPENING

**Blossom:**

I showed him a very disturbing meme that’s all

**Bubbles:**

Huh?

Kon?

**Buttercup:**

Uh yeah very disturbing

Gotta go

Shouldn’t talk and walk at the same time or

Timmy’s gonna walk into a wall again

**Blossom:**

Yeah silly me

See you Bartie

Bubbles:

… what the hell is going on

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Dolly:**

So how long have you been keeping this secret huh?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Listen

I found out by accident much like you did

And Jaime didn’t want me to spread it for now

So I didn’t

You can’t fault me for that

**Dolly:**

No I can’t

How the fuck did that happen

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

How should I know?

Anyway we cannot tell Bart

**Dolly:**

He’s gonna kill us when he finds out

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

I know

We’ll cross that bridge when we get there

**Dolly:**

I hate this

Why him of all people?

I didn’t think he’d be Jaime’s type

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

I don’t think Jaime thought he’d be his type either

**Dolly:**

No shit

You’re not concerned?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Nah

Seems genuine on both sides

**Dolly:**

For real?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Legit

They’re actually kind of cute

Disgusting and I need therapy after

The last time I walked in on them

But cute

**Dolly:**

… I mean Jaime being cute I can accept

But JASON?

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Trust me

It surprised me too

**Dolly:**

I mean I don’t want him dead anymore

But that doesn’t mean I was prepared for

That

It’s Jaime for fuck sake

Bartie’s first love

I almost feel responsible for the kid

**#1 Reason I can’t sleep at night:**

Don’t worry about him

He can handle himself

**Dolly:**

I hope you’re right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how bout that ending aye?  
> I mean most of you saw it coming by now but still lmao
> 
> Next chapter: full reveal


	24. Stupid Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason Todd is a menace. but a cute one. most of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey!  
> I hope you're well!  
> I'm so excited today hhhhhhhhh  
> anyway here's the chapter, I think you're gonna like this one!  
> hope you enjoy! xxxx

**Bichito:**

Stop changing my phone wallpaper

To your stupid face

**Bane of my existence:**

Aw but you like my stupid face

**Bichito:**

I’m going to send you back to your grave

**Bane of my existence:**

Nah you’d miss me too much

**Bichito:**

Wanna bet on that?

**Bane of my existence:**

Sure if you’re prepared to lose

You’re too obvious

You can’t get enough of me and it shows

**Bichito:**

Why do I do this to myself

I’m a good person I don’t deserve this

**Bane of my existence:**

If it makes you feel better

I can’t get enough of you either

**Bichito:**

Dios mio

You can’t just say things like that

All of a sudden!

**Bane of my existence:**

Why?

**Bichito:**

Cause I wasn’t prepared!

**Bane of my existence:**

Aw are you blushing?

Did I make you blush?

I wanna see that

**Bichito:**

You won’t

Cause I’m not blushing

Not at all

**Bane of my existence:**

You totally are

You’re so cute

**Bichito:**

Sttoooop

**Bane of my existence:**

I’ll stop when you stop being cute

**Bichito:**

Okay then I’ll stop

**Bane of my existence:**

Lmao as if

You’re incapable of not being cute

**Bichito:**

I…

I give up

**Bane of my existence:**

Thought so

Hey, can I come over this afternoon?

Haven’t seen you this week

Except yesterday but you were so out of it

You passed out like two minutes after I got there

You must be missing my stupid face

**Bichito:**

Shut up

And actually um

Bart’s coming over to catch up today

**Bane of my existence:**

Ah

He still doesn’t know does he

**Bichito:**

… I’m sorry

**Bane of my existence:**

Nah don’t sweat it

Not like I could blame you anyway

I mean I would do the same thing in your shoes

**Bichito:**

You would?

**Bane of my existence:**

Yeah I mean

It’s not like I’m the ideal boyfriend you just show off

To everyone

I would hide me too if I were you

**Bichito:**

You think I’m ashamed of you

**Bane of my existence:**

I mean how could you not be

But it’s ok, I understand

**Bichito:**

No

We’re not doing this right now

I can’t believe

I’m such a fucking idiot

**Bane of my existence:**

What?

**Bichito:**

I’m not ashamed of you Jason

And the fact I’ve let you believe this for so long

Is on me

I was so focused on myself

I didn’t see I was hurting you

**Bane of my existence:**

You didn’t hurt me

**Bichito:**

I did

You can’t just accept everything I do without protest

Just because you think you deserve it you know?

You have every right to call me out

On my bullshit

**Bane of my existence:**

I just don’t think you’ve done anything wrong

**Bichito:**

We’re gonna work on your self-esteem issues hun

**Bane of my existence:**

Did you just give me a pet name?

**Bichito:**

They come out instinctively when I’m concerned

For someone sorry

**Bane of my existence:**

No it’s okay

I kinda liked it

**Bichito:**

Oh

Well

Um

Anyway back to the subject at hand

I am not ashamed of you

I wouldn’t date someone I’m ashamed of

I mean at least I think we’re dating?

I mean we never specified and

But like you did indirectly call yourself my boyfriend

A few minutes ago

**Bane of my existence:**

Hey, breathe

Of course we’re dating

You think I make this much effort with just

Anyone?

**Bichito:**

Well

It’s still nice to have a confirmation

Anyway all this to say

Me trying to keep this lowkey had nothing to do

With you and all to do with me

All this is just so new and confusing and

I don’t really deal well with change

Especially when it all comes crashing down on me without

Me even realizing

**Bane of my existence:**

Yeah I get it

**Bichito:**

But this has gone on for long enough now

So, come over

**Bane of my existence:**

Begging your pardon?

**Bichito:**

Come over

You’re right

I did miss your stupid face

**Bane of my existence:**

I know you did

Does this mean you’ll tell Bart

**Bichito:**

Yeah

He deserves to know at this point

Plus I can’t wait to tell him both his boyfriends know

**Bane of my existence:**

You’re evil

**Bichito:**

You’ll understand once you see him pissed

It’s hilarious

They’re gonna get eaten alive

**Bane of my existence:**

Truly evil

I love it

**Bichito:**

_¯\\_(_ _ツ_ _)_/¯_

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

**Bubbles:**

Hi traitors :)

Guess who just met Jaime’s boyfriend :)

**Buttercup:**

Oh no

**Blossom:**

Pack your bags Kon

We’re going on the run

**Bubbles:**

You can’t hide from me :)

You won’t be safe anywhere :)

I will find you :)

**Buttercup:**

In my defense

I’ve only known for like a week

Tim on the other hand

**Blossom:**

Bitch

Did you just throw me under the bus?

**Bubbles:**

I believe he did

**Buttercup:**

Listen alright

I would take a bullet for you (even if I wasn’t bulletproof)

But facing Bart’s wrath is where I draw the line

**Blossom:**

I see how it is

I’m so sorry baby I was just trying to respect Jaime’s

Wishes

I mean he asked me not to tell you and I didn’t want to betray

His trust

**Bubbles:**

Yeah I know I forgive you

Come and get your cuddles now

**Blossom:**

Wait really?

**Bubbles:**

Yeah

**Buttercup:**

Wow that was easy

Can I come too?

**Bubbles:**

No you can’t

Timmy gets rewarded for his display of loyalty

It wouldn’t be right to reward you for

Your betrayal of him

**Blossom:**

LMAO GO CHOKE BITCH

**Buttercup:**

I can see that I’ve played myself

And I deserve it

But it still hurts

**Bubbles:**

I mean maybe Tim will be gracious enough

To grant you forgiveness

**Blossom:**

Oh so the ball’s in my court now?

How the tables have turned aye Superboy?

**Buttercup:**

you’re gonna make me beg aren’t you

**Blossom:**

Nah begging is too old school

I’d rather you tell us what you have to offer

**Buttercup:**

I’m great at cuddling?

**Bubbles:**

He does have a point

**Blossom:**

Hm true

But is that enough to salvage my betrayed and broken heart?

**Buttercup:**

I’ll bring you coffee from Starbucks?

**Blossom:**

Alright deal

**Bubbles:**

Disgusting

What do I get in all of this?

**Buttercup:**

I’ll bring you snacks too babe

And I’ll buy pizza on the way

**Bubbles:**

Yeah okay that’s a good deal

Hurry up

**Buttercup:**

On my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fcenvkreverb^ I LOVE JASON UGHHHHHHHHH  
> poor Jaime is such a panicked gay he can't handle it!  
> also Bart finally knows yeaaaah! 
> 
> Next Chapter: a gift from me to you (and also to me lmao)  
> (Ps: forgot to add. Apparently bichito means little bug in spanish and it's also a term of endearment so I thought it was perfect fjdvhdd ok Im done)


	25. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 26/02/2021

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi  
> so  
> As I said, this chapter is special. not really for the story itself, but for me. you see, today is my birthday, and I wanted to do something special to share with all of you cause I often write to help me cope with life, but I think I should write when I'm happy too! so here you go, enjoy my birthday gift!  
> xxx

**Groupchat (Bart Allen Fanclub)**

**Tweety:**

Hey everyone

Um

Quick question

Does anyone know when Bart’s birthday is?

**Elphaba:**

You mean you don’t even know when

Your own boyfriend’s birthday is?

I’m disappointed Tim

**Lightning McQueen:**

Yeah how can you even live with yourself?

You should be ashamed!

**Rex:**

Give him a break

It’s not like he can check Bart’s birth certificate

**Tweety:**

Exactly thank you Kon

Instead of judging me can you just tell

Us already?

**Elphaba:**

I don’t think you deserve this information

**Lightning McQueen:**

Yeah, you’re terrible boyfriends and we shouldn’t help you

**Rex:**

You guys don’t know either do you

**Tweety:**

They have no fucking clue

How did we manage to never learn

This information in all the years Bart has been with us?

**Lightning McQueen:**

I mean he tends to avoid talking about his past

So it doesn’t help

**Elphaba:**

Yeah he’s just really guarded

**Rex:**

Yeah but how have we not noticed it before?

I mean, we’ve never celebrated his birthday

That’s absolutely terrible

**Jiminy Cricket:**

Are you telling me that none of

Y’all has ever celebrated Bart’s birthday?

Are you for real?

**Tweety:**

Oh Hi Jaime

**Rex:**

Wait so you know when it is?

**Jiminy Cricket:**

Of course I do are you dumb?

I literally dated him what kind

Of boyfriend doesn’t know his partner’s

Birthday?

**Lightning McQueen:**

Lmao you got called out

**Jiminy Cricket** :

You think you’re any better mister

“I have literally birthed him, he’s my actual son”?

**Lightning McQueen:**

… Dickie I’m getting bullied

**Elphaba:**

You deserve it honey

**Tweety:**

But how did you find out?

**Jiminy Cricket:**

How do you find out anything about

Someone that you don’t know beforehand?

**Elphaba:**

Detective work?

**Tweety:**

Hacking government databases?

**Jiminy Cricket:**

What the fuck?

**Rex:**

I mean you did ask two Robins

**Lightning McQueen:**

Rookie mistake

**Jiminy Cricket:**

YOU FUCKING ASK THEM YOU DIMWITS

**Tweety:**

Oh

**Elphaba:**

Yeah we don’t do that here

**Jiminy Cricket:**

I give up

You need serious help

Also I’m not gonna tell you when it is

You either ask him yourself or perish

**Rex:**

But it’s so awkward

**Lightning Mcqueen:**

Yeah then he’s gonna know we

Don’t know his birthday

**Elphaba:**

I mean considering we’ve never celebrated it

Before I think it’s safe to say he’s probably

Already guessed that

**Tweety:**

Okay but hear me out

What if

Instead of doing what Jaime’s told us to do

**Jiminy Cricket:**

The right thing

Now my username makes a lot more sense

I’m right and none of you listen to me

**Tweety:**

Yeah yeah whatever

As I was saying

Instead of that

What if we organized a surprise party

On the day he came to the past?

It’s coming up in like five days

And it was kind of a rebirth for him

So technically it works

**Rex:**

I love your brain

It’s so big and shiny

**Elphaba:**

Ok that’s disgusting

But yeah it’s a great idea Timmy!

**Lightning McQueen:**

I’m on board!

It’s gonna be the biggest party the world

Has ever seen!

**Jiminy Cricket**

I’m so tired of you all

**Tweety:**

But you’ll still help right?

**Jiminy Cricket:**

Yeah of course

**Tweety:**

Good

Let’s get to work boys

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

****

**_Five days later_ **

**El Barto:**

I can’t believe you guys threw me a party!

You’re insane!

**Hermano:**

I mean it’s the least we could do

Especially them since they’ve never celebrated your

Birthday ever

**El Barto:**

Aw you know I don’t really care about that

It’s not like I’m used to celebrating it

I’d never done it before you asked me when it was

**Hermano:**

And that’s a crime

You should celebrate it every year

In a big fashion

**El Barto:**

If you say so

So you didn’t tell them I gather?

**Hermano:**

Nah

They need to learn to use their words

If they want to know they have to ask you

**El Barto:**

They probably never will

**Hermano:**

I know

Those idiots

I’m gonna send you a card once a month

To confuse them even more

**El Barto:**

You’re so petty I love it

**Hermano:**

I know

Hey Bartie?

**El Barto:**

Yeah?

**Hermano:**

Happy birthday

**El Barto:**

Thanks Jaime

If only they knew I came back in time

On my birthday

**Hermano:**

Perhaps they never will

But now they’ll celebrate it on the right

Day every year at least

Now go enjoy your party Bartie

**El Barto:**

Yeah I will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BARTIE ILY  
> last update of theday, it's time to party for me! (bye party I mean eating ridiculous amounts of melted cheese and watching Wandavision with my sisters)
> 
> Next Chapter: idk I haven't written it yet lmao


End file.
